Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television, artist - George Carlin. Album song Classic Gold, in the genre
Date of issue: 31.03.1992
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Laugh.com
Song language: English
Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television |
I love words. |
I thank you for hearing my words. |
I want to tell you something about words that I |
think is important. |
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. |
Words are all we have, |
really. |
We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. |
then we assign a word to a thought and we're |
stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. |
I like to think that the same |
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them. |
There are some people that are not into all the words. |
There are some that would have you not use certain words. |
There are |
400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can't say on television. |
What |
a ratio that is. |
399,993 to 7 They must really be bad. |
They'd have to be outrageous to be |
seperated from a group that large. |
All of you over here,you 7, Bad Words. |
That's what they told |
us they were, remember? |
"That's a bad word!" |
No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and |
words. |
You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television? |
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, |
CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect |
your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war. |
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, |
CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is |
such a friendly sounding word. |
It sounds like a nickname, right? |
"Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey |
Tits, meet Toots. |
Toots, Tits. |
Tits, Toots." It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a |
snack. |
I don't mean your sexist snack. |
I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, |
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. |
"Betcha Can't Eat Just One." |
That's true. |
I usually |
switch off. |
But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. |
Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are |
there. |
I'm not completely insensetive to people's feelings. |
I can understand why some of those |
words got on the list, like CockSucker and MotherFucker. |
Those are heavyweight words. |
There is |
a lot going on there. |
Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. |
I mean, they're just |
busy words. |
There's a lot of syllables to contend with. |
And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. |
They just jump out at you like "cocksucker, motherfucker. cocksucker, motherfucker." |
It's like an |
assualt on you. |
We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, |
which go together of course. |
A little accedental humor there. |
The reason that Piss and Cunt are |
on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am |
not going to say. |
I don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such stupid |
sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now." |
And, of course, the word Fuck. |
I don't really, well that's more accedental humor, I don't wanna |
get into that now because I think it takes to long. |
But I do mean that. |
I think the word Fuck is a |
very imprortant word. |
It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite |
often. |
People much wiser than I am said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people |
making love than 2 people trying to kill one another. |
I, of course, can agree. |
It is a great |
sentence. |
I wish I knew who said it first. |
I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. |
I'd like |
to substitute the word Fuck for the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. |
"Okay, |
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow." So maybe next year I'll have |
a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word. |
I hope so. |
Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstanses. |
You just cannot say |
them ever ever ever. |
Not even clinically. |
You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and |
Ed, and Johnny. |
I mean, it is just impossible. |
Forget those 7 They're out. |
But there are some 2- |
way words, those double-meaning words. |
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? |
" |
...And the cock CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. |
ha ha ha ha. |
Hey, it's in the |
bible. |
ha ha ha ha. |
There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto |
Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. |
Don't |
you? |
He's holding them. |
He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that goes |
with that one is Prik. |
It's okay if it happens to your finger. |
You can prik your finger but don't |
finger your prik. |
No,no. |