Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Things We Say When People Die, artist - George Carlin. Album song It's Bad For Ya, in the genre
Date of issue: 31.03.2008
Age restrictions: 18+
Record label: Laugh.com
Song language: English
Things We Say When People Die |
Now, speaking of dead people, there are things we say when someone dies, most of us say, a lot of us do, things we say that no one ever questions. |
They just kind of go unexamined. |
I’ll give you a couple of examples. |
After someone dies, the following conversation is bound to take place probably more than once. |
Two guys meet on the street. |
“Hey, did you hear? |
Phil Davis died.” |
“Phil Davis? |
I just saw him yesterday.” |
Yeah? |
Didn’t help. |
He died anyway. |
Apparently, the simple act of your seeing him did not slow his cancer down. |
In fact, it may have made it more aggressive. |
You know, you could be responsible for Phil’s death. |
How do you live with yourself? |
Here’s another thing they say after a death. |
This is usually said to the surviving spouse. |
“Listen, if there’s anything I can do, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.” |
What are you going to do, a resurrection? |
This ain’t the fucking New Testament, you know. |
You know what you tell a guy like that who wants to help? |
Well fine, why don’t you come over this weekend? |
You can paint the garage. |
Bring your plunger. |
The upstairs toilet overflowed and there’s shit all over the floor up there. |
Do you drive a tractor? |
Good. |
That’ll come in handy. |
The north 40 needs a lot of attention. |
Bring your chainsaw and your pickaxe. |
We’re going to put your ass to work. |
He wants to help? |
Fuck him. |
Call his bluff. |
Call his bluff. |
“Don’t hesitate to ask.” |
The nerve of these pricks. |
Here’s another thing we say to the surviving spouse. |
“I’m keeping him in my thoughts.” |
Where? |
Where exactly in your thoughts does he fit? |
In between my ass hurt in this chair and let’s fuck the waitress? |
What are your priorities? |
We use a lot of euphemisms when we talk about death, you know. |
People say things like, “You know, I lost my father.” |
Ah, he’ll turn up. |
You’ve got to stay optimistic with people like that. |
Give them reason to hope. |
Have you checked the dumpster out back? |
He used to like to take a nap in there. |
Keep it upbeat. |