| Thank you, thank you, welcome to our show. |
| Don't you think it's just a little bit strange that Ronald Reagan had an operation on his asshole and George Bush had an operation on his middle finger. |
| Huh? |
| Huh? |
| What are these two men trying to tell us?
|
| Now I'd like to begin tonight with an opening announcement: Because of the FCC, I'm never sure what it is I'm allowed to say. |
| So..so, I now have my own official policy: This is the language you will not be hearing tonight.
|
| You will not hear me say: bottom line, game plan, role model, scenario, or hopefully. |
| I will not kick back, mellow out, or be on a roll. |
| I will not go for it and I will not check it out; |
| I don't even know what it is. |
| And when I leave here I definitely will not boogie. |
| I promise not to refer to anyone as a class act, a beautiful person or a happy camper. |
| I will also not be saying "what a guy." |
| And you will not hear me refer to anyone's lifestyle. |
| If you want to know what a moronic word "lifestyle" is, all you have to do is realize that in a technical sense, Atilla the Hun had an active outdoor lifestyle. |
| I will also not be saying any cute things like "moi." |
| And I will not use the French adverb "tre" to modify any English adjectives. |
| Such as "tre awesome," "tre gnarly," "tre fabou," "tre intense," or "tre out-of-sight." |
| I will not say concept when I mean idea. |
| I will not say impacted when I mean affected. |
| There will be no hands-on state-of-the-art networking. |
| We will not maximize, prioritize, or finalize...and we definitely will not interface. |
| There will also...there will also be no new-age lingo spoken here tonight. |
| No support-group jargon from the human potential movement. |
| For instance, I will not share anything with you. |
| I will not relate to you and you will not identify with me. |
| I will give you no input, and I will expect no feedback. |
| This will not be a learning experience, nor will it be a growth period. |
| There'll be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, no nurturing. |
| We will not establish a relationship, we will not have any meaningful dialogue and we definitely will not spend any quality time. |
| We will not be supportive of one another, so that we can get in touch with our feelings in order to feel good about ourselves. |
| And if you're one of those people who needs a little space...please...go the fuck outside. |
Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song Offensive Language , by - George Carlin. Song from the album Parental Advisory, in the genre