Lyrics What a Phone Call Should Be - George Carlin

What a Phone Call Should Be

You have to resort to these tactics because many people do not understand what a phone call should be or what a phone call is.
Ideally, a phone call is the brief exchange of a few vital pieces of information.
This is a phone call.
“Hey, Steve, what time’s the circle jerk start tonight?
Ten o’clock, OK.
Listen, I’m going to be a little bit late.
You’ll have to start without me.
Oh, don’t worry.
I’ll catch up.
I’m eating a whole bunch of oysters and watching a horny movie.
It’s called Tarzan Fucks a Zebra.
Russell Crowe.
Well, it’s kind of a fantasy.
Right now, Renee Zellweger is blowing a unicorn.”
That’s a phone call.
It should not be a two and a half hour harangue of your third cousin describing her mailman’s liposuction.
God, people are fucking boring.
People are just fucking boring.