| I’ve been ready for hours and I’m wearing my best | 
| Ordered champagne and flowers and you’re not even dressed | 
| Tonight’s a special night to remember with pride | 
| These twenty happy years since you became my bride | 
| It is all too absurd, you’re so cross and abrupt | 
| But I don’t say a word or you’re bound to erupt | 
| Your peculiar moods I’ve experienced before | 
| So I’ll pour another drink and quietly pace the floor | 
| It’s a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait | 
| For your little black dress, that was promised by six | 
| Is it just rotten luck, when we’re doing the town | 
| That the fates should conspire, to let us mortals down | 
| I have seats for a show and it’s opening night | 
| My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight | 
| And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse | 
| And I’ve got a headache that’s quickly getting worse | 
| Happy anniversary, happy anniversary | 
| They deliver your frock, but you’re still in distress | 
| It was past nine o clock, when I helped you to dress | 
| I tried to do you up, but, it wasn’t my day | 
| For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way | 
| I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed | 
| Will I ever forget, the thing that happened next | 
| Your dress just came apart, with one terrible tear | 
| Your disappointed cries, were more than I could bear | 
| At eleven at last, when we got into town | 
| We arrived at the show, but the curtain was down | 
| I suggested a bite. | 
| No, no you wanted to walk | 
| You had no appetite and no desire to talk | 
| So we strolled for an hour, and the evening was sweet | 
| And I bought you a flower, from a man in the street | 
| And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme | 
| And we knew that our love is must stronger than time | 
| Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary |