Lyrics Aging Orange - The Vandals

Aging Orange

I’m Palm Palm head and I wrote one good song
But that was almost 20 years ago
I tried and I tried to follow it up
But you know how those sophomore jinxes go
So I became quite bitter
As sales dropped like flies
No one likes these dumb songs
Of racing cars and spies
Maybe it’s my ape drape
Or hippies in my band
But now we only tour
In Arizona or Japan
So after much thought and a panel of experts
I came up with a brilliant little plan
I’ll take out my frustrations
On one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands
Cuz I invented socks
And I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin
But no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse
With a career that is cursed?
I’ll just sue for royalties
On things I thought of first
Back in Ancient Egypt many Pharaohs went to jail
For misappropriation of my Phrigian scale
I said listen to Tutankhamen, you’re driving me insane
It’s obvious those bellies are all dancing to Bloodstains
I figured out you owe me and please try not to laugh
But every time I hear it I get one more golden calf
So I’ve bitten off a sizable chunk
Of the hands of the people with the food
Now I’m confined to the pages of Flipside
A graveyard of punk rock’s 35 year old dudes
So I invented socks
And I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin
But no one ever paid me
Why beat a dead horse
With a career that is cursed?
I’ll just sue for royalties
On things I thought of first
Palm Palm!
Palm Palm!
Palm Palm!
Palm Palm!
Ape Drape!
Ape Drape!
Poodle Head!
Poodle Head!