| I bought a gerbil from the petting zoo
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| If Richard Gere can do it I can too
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| I get undressed, start to lube
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| I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube
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| Wondering just how he’ll feel
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| Will he like it better than his little wheel
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| Careful now he’s right beside me
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| One more inch and he’s inside me
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| Go, gerbil go
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| Burrow harder, burrow deeper
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| Be my little chimney sweeper
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| One thing I forgot about
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| How am I supposed to get you out?
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| So now my Gerbils on easy street
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| It’s warm and cozy and there’s plenty to eat
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| The situation is beyone my control
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| Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole
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| I try crowbars, I try wires
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| I almost had him with a pair of pliers
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| I try cheese but he’s not biting
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| I wish this wasn’t so exciting
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| Go, gerbil go
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| Jesus I am such a sucker
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| Please get out you furry fucker
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| I think I am getting ill
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| Suddenly he’s very very still
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| Now it’s too late
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| My gerbil died
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| I guess I have commited gerbicide
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| Here’s some advice
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| It’s very clear cut
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| If you love your gerbil
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| Don’t stick him up your butt
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| Don’t stick him up your butt
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| Little furry gerbil in your booty hole
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| Don’t stick him up and you put him in the end and he won’t come out
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| Yeah |