| In handcuffs smoking her second butt
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| Thinking 'bout her life and how he messed it up, F’d it up
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| Her maiden name was Jen Kimbal
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| That was back when she was single
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| She doesn’t still live with her husband of course
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| They don’t grasp the same forks, didn’t have to divorce
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| He was getting shady with a lady from work
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| She saw 'em coppin' pork, shoppin', poppin' corks
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| One night he walked in the door with a snort
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| «Give me food, Jen, then let me watch sports
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| I want a BJ first, like Bjork
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| Bring a beer in here, dear, from the porch»
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| She stirred the ladle in the borscht
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| Said «Yes, Robert» and brought him the main course
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| He took a spoonful, soon was a corpse
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| She dumped him in the port with the fish by the wharf
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| She told her cellmate his dick’s like a dwarf
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| But she missed her kiddos
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| And she’s not glad she did it as she’s sitting in prison
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| When they visit, they see the widow through the window, but
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| Everybody knew his name
|
| Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
|
| And you would probably do the same
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| If he did it to you
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| His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
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| He’s your man if you need anything
|
| If you need that jacuzzi installed
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Yo, Ella was looking for a fella
|
| So she flirted at work and made their wives all jealous
|
| (Yeah) Looking for a man with some loot
|
| ‘Cause her three sons all had holes in the boots
|
| (Yeah) Her husband died in Tikrit
|
| Got cash from the government, enough to eat
|
| (Yeah) Couldn’t even bring her sons to the movies
|
| She took a second job, working, selling jacuzzis
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| Her boss was a pervert
|
| But he’s rich like sherbet, he’d get a boner when she’d murmur
|
| So she did it, let him hit it
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| And then quit her other job as a server, became the top earner
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| He was 60 with a 20 year old’s sex drive
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| Sex drive, never thought he would get murdered
|
| After he copped her the 2013 X5
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| X5, manicured, no cuticles
|
| Beamer gleamin', all looking beautiful
|
| She wore all Gucci to the funeral
|
| Before his wife got life in the cubicle, but
|
| Everybody knew his name
|
| Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
|
| And you would probably do the same
|
| If he did it to you
|
| His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
|
| He’s your man if you need anything
|
| If you need that jacuzzi installed
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Well it was just procedure and nobody stuck around
|
| Parking lot was empty 'fore he’s in the ground
|
| And his obituary has compliments
|
| As if he did it all with no consequence
|
| He had saliva on his epitaph
|
| But they did not write that because
|
| Everybody knew his name
|
| Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
|
| And you would probably do the same
|
| If he did it to you
|
| His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
|
| He’s your man if you need anything
|
| If you need that jacuzzi installed
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call
|
| Bob’s the man you call |