| Wha’s going on here Elemental?
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| Just the opening of a new teashop, officer
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| I know there’s monkey business going on ‘ere
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| He’s an ape, actually, and a damn fine waitress
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| Care for one of his creamy scones for an afternoon tea?
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| I don' buy it Elemental (oh)
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| I know you’re up to some’in' and when I find out what
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| I’m gonna take you to the cleaners
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| Appearances are deceiving
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| I can prove that seeing shouldn’t be believing
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| You all know the password, sneak in this evening
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| All will be revealed, something cheeky, indecent
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| The coast is clear, I’m flicking the switch
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| With a flick of the wrist, with a click and a twist
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| Flip the tables, rearrange it like lickety-split
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| Get a drink, light the lights, now we’re hitting it big
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| Tea room to speakeasy, our mission is this
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| Switch your fears into dreams and give them a lift
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| Give them a kiss, whether it’s a mister or miss
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| Have a seat, I insist, now listen to this
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| My machinery is unbelievable and so’s the scenery
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| The bar, the stage, the stars, amazing, things you’ve never seen and we
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| Won’t rest until you’re entertained, tipsy or tripping
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| Bring on the dancing girls, DJ’s and the magicians
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| Welcome to our tea shop, it’s the finest one in town
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| By day we serve Earl Grey, but when the sun goes down
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| The revelry’s intoxicating, and so is our tea
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| For we’ve a cellar stocked with spirits (shhh) between you and me
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| I can read your fortune amongst those ginseng leaves
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| Just keep our little secret and we can be as thick as thieves
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| The authorities need never know you’re here, so don’t you fret
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| Just come and quench your thirst, we’re sure to get your taste buds wet
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| (Bang, bang, bang) Who is it?
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| The Swingpin with a special delivery
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| Coming to you, direct fresh from the distillery
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| I’ve got the liquor to refresh ya' guests
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| So strong that it’ll put hairs on Geoffrey’s chest
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| You would never guess this quaint little premises
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| Could be the scene of such hedonism and decadence
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| And host the city’s most unsavoury residents
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| Which is why like the Professor, I’m in my Element
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| But tonight I got more hooch to deliver
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| Are you sure we can’t persuade you to stay for a snifter?
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| Well I never get high on my own supply
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| But since it’s you Prof, tonight I guess it could differ
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| (Gulp, cough) Yeah that’s got quite a kick
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| Now I’m in the mood to start misbehaving a bit
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| Stealing the Prof’s hat just to see if it fits
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| Now that’s what I really call taking the pith
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| Well well well! |
| I knew you were up to something Elemental
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| And now I’ve caught you associating with the Swingpin, there’s no denying it!
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| I’ve got you righ' where I want you
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| And this time, you’re not getting away with it
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| Calm down officer, no need to start with locking up
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| I understand your job is hard, but stop and have a drop with us
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| Rum or vodka? |
| Malt or hops? |
| It’s all top notch, in stock in the
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| Bar, come on copper, let’s get properly improper
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| Yeah c’mon officer, just take what the Prof offers ya
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| And see for yourself why this product is so popular
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| Besides you’ll only be seen by a few folk
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| We promise that we won’t tell anybody if you don’t
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| Greetings officer, how do you do?
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| Here’s one on the house just for you
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| To your health sir, chin up now, clink clink
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| You know this is what the big boys drink
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| Now look here, I will not be tempted
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| And this dirty dive bar will not be exempted
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| But before I leave I need a bit more surety
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| I’ll have one sip just to test the purity
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| (guzzle)
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| Maybe I’ve been too hard on this tea shop
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| I mean everybody needs a way to blow some steam off
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| And that includes me, so if one crate a week
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| Was left somewhere discrete we’d have a deal to speak of
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| Now I really must be off
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| But before I leave, I got a surprise up my sleeve
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| You’ve all seen a cop on the beat
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| But what I bet you haven’t seen is a cop on the beatbox
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| Welcome to our tea shop, it’s the finest one in town
|
| By day we serve Earl Grey but, when the sun goes down
|
| The revelry’s intoxicating, and so is our tea
|
| For we’ve a cellar stocked with spirits (shhh) between you and me
|
| I can read your fortune amongst those ginseng leaves (ho, ho!)
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| Just keep our little secret and we can be as thick as thieves (oh yeah!)
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| The authorities need never know you’re here, so don’t you fret
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| Just come and quench your thirst, we’re sure to get your taste buds wet
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| Well I mean, if you think the tea’s strong, you should try the cake
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| I can’t feel my face |