Lyrics An Englishman's Home Is His Castle - Professor Elemental

An Englishman's Home Is His Castle

Hello lovely, you look stunning
Lots of fun in my house coming
Care for a biscuit or a liquorice twist?
It’s best not to sit there;
better not risk it
That chair, right there, reserved for geoffrey-
A butler who helps me, a monkey?
Definitely
An ape, probably, I’m never quite sure
Have a look around
Don’t open that door!
That’s where the lab is, where I produce a
Number of things and one got loose so
Keep an eye out for something new
Here at Elemental Manor there’s something to do
That’s alarming, bizarre, disarming, and charming
Ghosts in the attic, giant rabbits in the garden
Half past three: I’m parched, im partial
To a bucket load of tea
In my home;
my castle
An englishmans home is his castle
Come on in, how do you take your tea?
We’ve been waiting for you
Oh, your welcome, you’re all so terribly welcome
An englishmans home is his castle
Well hello, so much for you to see
We’ve been waiting for you
And now that you’ve made it I’m ever so pleased
I’m gonna get you a taxi, honey
Try to be ready 'bout half past eight
Come on now, don’t be late
I’m gonna be there when the band starts playing
In case we haven’t been introduced,
I’ll save you the interview
A brief run down, an interlude
Geoffrey, damn your eyes, bring some soup
Let’s start with my loves:
Wearing khaki, my lovely hats and lavish parties,
Experiments, exotic dance, inventing things, exotic plants,
And pots of tea and mystery, and dear Geoffrey
And more tea (obviously)
And battenburg and being nice,
And badgers, crumble, gin with ice,
And machine that fly, doing what’s right,
Or going on a nudist hike.
That’s quite alright
Don’t look so startled
My land, my grounds, my home, my castle
Just remember when we get there honey,
New steps, I’m gonna have 'em all
Dance above my shoes