| Hey kids, do you know what you’re getting for christmas this year?
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| No
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| Well let me tell you about it!
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| For little Johnny there’ll be video games underneath the tree
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| And Sally in Ohio will get Malibu Barbie
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| For little Elmer Johnson, old socks that smell like pee
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| I know what you’re getting for Christmas
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| For the homeless in the street, there’ll be tin cans and rain
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| For the plumber in his saggy pants, another clogged up drain
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| For the millionaire in the mansion, more money and cocaine!
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| I know what you’re getting for Christmas
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| Singing Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la
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| I know what you’re getting for Christmas
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| For the ladies, A new perfume, with the same old smell
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| And for the tv Preacher, more Jesus to sell
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| How about a new Burrito from Taco Bell?
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| I know what you’re getting for Christmas
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| Singing Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la. |
| Fa la
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| I know what you’re getting for Christmas
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| For the drunkard in the bar, another glass of booze
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| For the gambler in Las Vegas, another hand to lose
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| For the grammar school nerd, another bully to fight
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| For the lonely and disheartened, another endless night
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| And all the pretty girls will get another kiss
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| I know, I know, I know what you’re getting for Christmas |