Lyrics Congo (Skit) - MC Chris

Congo (Skit)

Congo-
-KyleXY/KotA/Darth Kyle: Hello!
And welcome to The Rebellion.
This is, uh,
KyleXY.
My new name is, uh Kyle of the Apocalypse We’re uh in a tent tonight.
We’re-
-The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
-Basementsafe/WiR/Greedo1997:
This is uh, I was Greedo 1997, I was also Basemensafe, but uh, I decided to
change- my new name is now McCormick Rd
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
-Jackie the Hut/Resident Stevil… Mr. Chandler: Hi, uhm Jackie the Hut,
aand Roland of Sciliad- my new Car related nickname: The EnGINA Monologues,
may the Force be with you
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
-Jimmy «The Zombie» Stewart/Jimmy …etc.
Stewart: Hey, Jimmy Stewart here.
May the Force be with you
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
Kyle: No, you hafta tellus your new nickname, May the Force be with you
JS: Oh, uhhhh, Jimmy Stewart, uh, The Car
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
(half-heartedly, begrudgingly, even)
-Hey!
Umm this is IG-89, Then I was, uh, The First Mimzy, then I was,
Sawyer’s Gunstache, and since Lost is over, uh — I changed my name to The
Walking Fred, I’m the Walk- I’m.no?
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
(hesitantly, then over, reassuringly)
Kyle: It’s good.
It’s good.
It’s good
TWF: Damnit!
No!
It’s not, it sucks!
Sucks!
Kyle and I think JS and TEM possibly DoD: It’s good (several more times
Kyle: it’s good, «Walking Dead"'s a good show its good!
TWD: it’s too easy, it’s too OBvious!
Darth *Ksh~Hcoh*Gracie/ Darth of the Dead/DoD: Hey what’s up guys?
Good to see you all, it’s been a while.
I used to be Darth Dudeicle,
I used to be Doodoocull Gracie.
Uh, I know I haven’t seen am everyone for a
while, I had an unfortunate stretch where I became a Juggalo, now I’m back.
Dooticle of Doom, like the Legion of Doom, from the WWF, also known as The
Road Warriors.
Road Warrior, May the Force be with you
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
Mr. Killian: So, wait, it’s Road Warrior?
Or Duducle of Doom?
DoD: Doodickle of Doom
The EnGINA Monologues: Ok, May the Force be with you
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
DoD: May the Force be with you too.
May the Force be with you too
Mc peepants: Well we’re all really excited about Race Wars, (The Rebellion
start laughing at the ridiculous understatedness of their excitement for Race
Wars… obviously:) we’re first In line May the Force be with you
Kyle: We just wanna, go around the tent and explain uh what your were excited
about uh Race Wars.
May the Force be with you
McCormick Rode: Uh I’m excited, cause I heard there’s gonna be like this really
cool like uh, Sting at the end, tha-alluding to maybe, the later movies-
-1st Mimzy: Hey don’t- No Spoilers, Man!
What are you talkin' about?
No Spoilers, dude!
-The rebellion chimes in aggressively
When in Romero: I don’t even know what’s going on!
Kyle: none of us do!
And we wanna keep it that way!
IG-89: I don’t wanna know anything, that happens!
Basementsafe: But saying there’s a sting is not a spoiler!
Sawyer’s Gunstache: Yes, it IS!
Mc chris: we don’t know if it’s gonna be a strong end or a weak one,
we don’t know these things
-(Pauly Shore?) DoD/Darth of the Dead: now people who weren’t necessarily
dedicated enough to sit through the credits, might do it, cause of you!
-The Walking Fred: Yeah now we gotta share that with somebody, now,
everybody knows
-Kyle: yeah, you can forget about it bein' insider information, man
McCormick Rd.: But, I thought you said, «what are you excited about», and,
I said ,"the Sting, that might be at the en-
Tony K: Stop Talkin' about it!
DoD: I don’t want to talk about this any more
Basement Safe: Wha-Whyareyou- I’m just saying, it’s g-wha why, you weren’t
excited about the sting?
At the end?
Virgil the Poet: I wait through EVERY movie til the end to see if there’s a
sting but I don’t want to know if there is one
McCormick Road: But there’s not a sting at ending-at the end of every movie.
There’s not gonna be a sting at-
TWF: any good one there is.
And that’s how you know, when you leave the theater
if you saw a good movie or a bad movie!
Rocko: There’s no sting at the end of «Bowling For-
Darth of the Dead: Keep talkin!
Keep Talkin!
Kyle of the Apocolypse: just Chill out, May the FORCE be with you
Arguers: May the Force be with you
TEM: Hi, this is the Engina Monologues, May the Force be with you
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you
TEM: I’m really excited because, I heard there’s um actually a number of
graphic rape scenes in the movie
Kyle: where did you here thisMay the Force be with you?
Others: yeah?
Jackie the Hut: I heard it in
The Walking Fred: yeah again, I didn’t want to hear another spoiler!
Kyle: I didn’t know that’s where you got your information…
NO SPOILERS!
I’m sorry!
Im sorry!
I just- every time I hear about a graphic rape.
It helps me think about, my ex-wife being-
Oh goddammit
You don’t have to tell me what it’s like
Etc. May the Force be with you
Resident Stevil (continuing, as if uninterrupted): being ravaged by BaBoons,
I have this fantasy where she’s on safari, in the Congo, and these like,
missing link baboon creatures just, set upon her-
Rocko: Like in the movie «Congo»?
;)
Mr. Chandler: What?!
IG-89: does that happen in the movie «Congo»?!
Kyle: did you spoil «Congo»…Don't Spoil «Congo» for everybody!
DoD: I got it in my Netflix Queue.
When in Romero: keh* You haven’t seen Congo, yet?
Ok, from here it gets murky and overlapping, but-
Kyle: no I haven- hey!
I thought, oh they’re starting to move some people,
they’re movin' some people, I can’t get the zipper open!
I can’t get the
zipper open!
I can’t open the zipperrhh!
Ow, ow ow!
oW OOw… right on my neck!
Stepping right on my neck!
Pretty much everyone else says: the line is moving!
The line is moving!
Open the Tent!
Open the zipper!
Mc chris’s Biological father: the line is trampling us