| There was an old sailor, who sat on a rock,
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| Waving and shaking his big hairy…
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| Fist at the ladies next door in The Ritz,
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| Who taught all the children to play with their…
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| Ice-creams and marbles and all things galore,
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| Along comes a lady who looks like a…
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| Decent young woman, who walks like a duck,
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| She said she’s invented a new way to…
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| Bring up the children, to sew and to knit,
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| The boys in the stable are shovelling…
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| Litter and paper, from yesterday’s hunt,
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| And old dirty Dread is having some…
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| Cake in the parlour, and singing this song,
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| If you think it’s dirty, you’re bloody well wrong!
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| (Instrumental)
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| Susan was a nice girl, with plenty of class,
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| Who turned the boys' heads when she wiggled her…
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| Eyes at the young boys, as girls sometimes do,
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| To make it quite plain she was ready to…
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| Go for a walk, or a stroll in the grass,
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| Then hurry back home for a nice piece of…
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| Chicken and ice-cream, and lots of roast duck,
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| And after this meal, she was ready to…
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| Go for a walk, or a stroll on the dock,
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| With any young boy with a sizeable…
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| Roll of big bills, and a pretty good front,
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| And if he talked softly, she’d show him her…
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| Little pet dog, who is subject to fits,
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| And maybe let him grab a hold of her…
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| Little white hand, with a moment so quick,
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| That she would lean over and tickle his…
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| Chin, while she showed what she once learned in France,
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| And ask the poor chap to take up his under…
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| Pants, while she sang of the wild Kneesdon shore,
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| Oh, whatever she was,
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| (Spoken)
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| She wasn’t a bad girl really, this Susan. |
| I’ve had better, but mind you,
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| she wasn’t THAT bad. |