| Ladies and gentlemen, bring your dollar bills
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| Ones, fives, tens and twenties, and more
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| Bring 'em this way to the Dark Carnival’s midway games
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| Win a giant stuffed animal
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| The prize is yours and they money is ours
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| At the fun and challenging midway games
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| Hey there, fellow, win a prize for your girlfriend’s heart
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| (How?) Pop a balloon with a dart
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| It’s impossible to miss (I popped all three)
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| We got a big winner! |
| Give him an NSYNC sticker
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| (Huh? What about them big stuffed animal toys?)
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| You gotta pop a thousand for one of them boys
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| Then he spent 'til he won and he saw it was made in Guatamalamala
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| It won’t last him 'til tomorrow
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| Step over here, son, win a fat prize
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| Look how easy it is, wipe your eyes
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| All you gotta do is toss a ring on a bottle top
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| So you try it again, and you won’t stop
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| It look so fucking easy at first
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| That’s why your mom keeps digging in her purse
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| She spent her last seventy five bucks, but you not hit
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| Because you tried so hard, you get a goldfish
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back
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| Hit up one of our many on site ATMs
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| And come play a few of our stale and cheap
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| Low budget, high profitable midway games
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| Excuse me sir, do you like to shoot hoop?
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| It’s a simple concept, throw the ball through the loop
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| And look at these prizes, it’s worth a try
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| And plus, you look like an athletic guy
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| (Fair enough, give me three shots) Good luck!
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| One brick, two brick, three brick (He sucks)
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| Meanwhile, the ball’s getting bigger then the hoop
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| And we’re getting paid 'cause people are stupid
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| Shoot three rubber duckies off the track
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| And you can win anything in the back
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| (Whoa! Check it out, dude, they got a Drake poster!)
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| (I know, and I want it! Let’s go for it)
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| Little did they know, only two ducks fall back
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| The rest of 'em are welded to the tracks
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| Good shooting! |
| You definitely came close, sir
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| One more and you would’ve had that sweet poster
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back
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| While you are enjoying our midway games
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| Don’t worry about our pill popping junkie-ass meth head carnies
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| Cheating you out of your hard-earned money
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| This game is the easiest, give it a try
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| You know you want to, don’t just walk by
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| All you gotta do is knock three cups over
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| With a bean bag, easy as a three leaf clover
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| So you try it again and again, you keep playing
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| 'Cause you’d have no idea what the cups are weighing
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| Ain’t no fucking way a bean bag is gonna tip these down
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| Welcome to the carnival, clown
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| Hey Dad, win a prize for your son
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| This game has prizes for everyone
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| Come try the high bell, swing the big mallet
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| Come try the dunk tank, see if you can nail it
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| You can’t leave with nothing, try it again
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| Where’d you win that prize? |
| Run back and tell a friend
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| Balls, darts, bee bees, and water games
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| We got many, many ways to ensure that you’re all all lames
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| Ha ha! |
| Ha ha ha!
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back
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| Big winners (Woo!) On the midway track
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| Shitty prizes (Boo!) Yes, but you’ll be back |