| Oh, maggot, he’s a modern day Fagin
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| Turfing out your pockets like a christian burns a pagan
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| Dripping with charm, style and panache
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| He’ll leave you sore like a venereal rash
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| They tried to catch him, he says, 'time to dash'
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| He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
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| He’s a bastard, but he’s always looking flash
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| With his shoes like Dick Turpin, across his waist he wears a sash
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| Sporting top hat, with a pocket watch too
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| The tallest member of the goldie lookin' crew
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| Watch out if he’s there when you’re pissed
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| He learnt his science from my man, Oliver Twist
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| Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
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| Selling sexy DVD’s of a willy being kissed
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| Stealing pensions frmo the old and infirm
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| Made a fortune selling doctors fake sperm
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| Like Charles Dickens, there’s a lesson to be learned
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| Beware the maggot cos the worm has turned
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| Whoop… whoop…whoop
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| All of de yout' shall witness de day that Babylon shall faaaalll
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| Just like Jack The Ripper, he’ll do you up a kipper
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| And he’s like a highway man holding up a newborn nipper
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| He’s smarter than Sherlock Holmes or ITV’s Taggart
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| I’m dapper, refined and they call me the maggot
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| Turn your back and your pocket, he will pick
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| His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped
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| Like a chameleon, I’m the master thief
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| Using a disguise, dressed like Penelope Keith
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| You gotta smoke a reefer or two
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| You gotta smoke a reefer or two
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| You gotta smoke a reefer or two
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| You gotta smoke a reefer or two
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| I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
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| Taking belongings in my ultimate goal
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| I’ll take your china, your silver and your soul
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| By darkness and night, I shimmy up the drain-pipe
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| The maggot, the maggot, that’s who I am
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| Don’t ever trust me, always doing a scam
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| I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
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| I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham
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| Gold chains and watches, maggot’s got plenty
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| He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
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| Like Sherlock Holmes bumming Watson, it’s elementary
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| He’s the modern day menace of the nineteenth century
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| A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
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| Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
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| He’s got the strength of ten, like a maniac
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| And I’m also identified as Spring-heeled Jack
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| Whoa, here he comes
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| Watch out, son, he’ll rip you off
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| Whoa, here he comes
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| He’s a money grabbing bastard from Newport
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| I’m maggot with the GLC
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| Big shout to all the Valleys
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| Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
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| Big up to Dipper Nan
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| Merthyr Connection
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| Postman Port, big shout out to Postman Port
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| And Mark, running the bar
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| Always sorts it
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| Big up Hafodrynys hotel
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| Big up to Pontllanfraith crew
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| Also the West End crew in Abercarn
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| I did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing
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| Big wheel up, big wheel up
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| All the bus routes
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| X15, 53, big respect
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| Red and white at cross keys
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| And their rivals Glynn Williams
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| Respect to you all
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| All those that know fake Elvis
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| On their transister radio…
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| Maggot, signing out, 2000 plus 3
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| Every man do his ting, a little bit different |