| We’re all going down the pub, come on, get your tracksuits on
 | 
| Come on, fukin' get movin'
 | 
| Fukin' why you so slow, clart?
 | 
| Aww, fukin' hell, my bollocks are killing in these really tight jeans what I’m
 | 
| wearing
 | 
| Why are you wearing those really tight jeans clart?
 | 
| The reason I’m wearing these really tight jeans is because I’ve just discovered
 | 
| heavy metal you bathplug!
 | 
| Let me play you a bit son, its fcukin' terrible
 | 
| Why are your eyes looking in different directions clart?
 | 
| (goldie lookin' chain, it’s the goldie lookin' chain)
 | 
| I love metal, so pay some respect,
 | 
| There’s a fringe in my hair and my cock is erect,
 | 
| Like Helen Mirren, from Prime Suspect,
 | 
| I made love to the back end of a Ford Prefect,
 | 
| I wear a condom,
 | 
| So I could protect,
 | 
| From rust erosion of my bell end’s neck
 | 
| serious man, you were right clart, this fcukin' metal music is safe as fcuk!
 | 
| I need a mullet,
 | 
| But the back’s not long enough,
 | 
| So I paid this girl to rip the pubes from her muff,
 | 
| She screamed a bit, and started to laugh,
 | 
| But when she saw my pubic wig she asked for my autograph,
 | 
| I went down the Hornblower and met a bloke called Neville,
 | 
| He taught me how to rock and do the sign of the devil,
 | 
| He took me to see a band at the Newport Centre,
 | 
| And they rocked hard and they were called Placenta,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Bodies stand beside you, the devil at your knees,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Hi-tec silver shadow massive, it’s the GLC,
 | 
| (You Knows It)
 | 
| If you wanna go to war
 | 
| You better get your draw?
 | 
| I’ll meet you at my clarts at half past 4,
 | 
| I think I’ve smoked draw twice before,
 | 
| You were wrecked on the floor but I’m fcukin' hardcore.
 | 
| Fcukin' safe, listening to metal, getting fcukin' wrecked up on the blow,
 | 
| getting stoned fcukin cant get enough of it man serious
 | 
| Heavy metal is like soft porn,
 | 
| But instead of sex with a horse its with a unicorn,
 | 
| Or a midget, or a dwarf or a goblin,
 | 
| Wearing tight jeans and running around and hobbling,
 | 
| Cos the metal makes your bollocks hurt,
 | 
| Although the jeans are tight you gotta let it squirt,
 | 
| It’s a flying V guitar,
 | 
| It’ll take you really far,
 | 
| Cos the glc’s are on a metal vibe spa,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Bodies stand beside you, the devil at your knees,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Hi-tec silver shadow massive, it’s the GLC,
 | 
| (You Knows It)
 | 
| I grew my hair,
 | 
| Put a tracksuit on
 | 
| I borrowed some records off a sweaty called John,
 | 
| I used to smoke spliffs but now I smokes the bong,
 | 
| When you hears the glc put a gold chain on,
 | 
| That’s right, fcukin' safe as fcuk,
 | 
| I used to listen to hip-hop, I still do,
 | 
| But I fcukin' can’t get enough of this metal you knows it,
 | 
| Electric guitar fills my mind,
 | 
| I had 13 tosss and started to go blind,
 | 
| I had to get away, I had to find,
 | 
| The chain of the jeans changed my mind,
 | 
| I found metal,
 | 
| I felt so strange,
 | 
| The new vibe started to re-arrange,
 | 
| My brain, I felt insane,
 | 
| Cos the heavy metal vibe took the goldie lookin' chain,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Bodies stand beside you, the devil at your knees,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Hi-tec silver shadow massive, it’s the GLC,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Bodies stand beside you, the devil at your knees,
 | 
| Come to the graveside, kneel down by me,
 | 
| Hi-tec silver shadow massive, it’s the GLC,
 | 
| Big up to Lee Cooper jeans,
 | 
| And all the people what can play sweet child o mine on the guitar at any speed,
 | 
| Yeah if you got some tight, stonewashed jeans and a white t-shirt with a
 | 
| tracksuit top on and a bit of gold you’re safe,
 | 
| That’s how I become death,
 | 
| Destroyer of worlds,
 | 
| All down to a pair of tight jeans clenching the living shit out of my bollocks. |