| Following total atomic annihilation
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| It may fall to you to save the great nation
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| That’s why Vault-Tec have made extra preparation
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| And are proud to present you a special education
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| Regarding aptitude
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| You are an absolutely
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| Unique amalgamation of attributes
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| Now it’s time to find out in which you excel
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| What makes you S.P.E.C.I.A.L.
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| Oh so special!
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| Spells out that you’re quite swell!
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| Strength!
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| Supplies are sparse
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| So on seeing something sweet
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| Be sure to scavenge, or starve
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| The stronger you aren’t, the smaller the stack
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| Of scrap, storage and snacks
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| That you can haul on your back
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| But do be sure to stay on track of the numbers
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| Or a savage could suddenly strike as you’re over-encumbered
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| And should your special self have such a regrettable incident
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| You’d better get swinging any suitable weapon or implement
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| Perception!
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| Post-nuclear places
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| Are pretty prearranged
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| To put you through your paces
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| Pinpoint the parts of predators that plan to prey
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| With the Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System
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| Hooray!
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| You may need to pickpocket
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| Pinching for your own protection
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| Practicing your pilfering
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| Purloining to perfection
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| If your preferential predilection’s
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| Petty theft of peoples' possessions
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| You’ll be protected by perception
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| Oh so special!
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| Spells out that you’re quite swell!
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| Endurance!
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| Epidemics are endemic everywhere
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| Infection, amputation, radiation, never rare
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| End the negative effects, refresh your energy
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| By eating everything
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| Even extra limbs and enemies
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| Your belly’s not ever empty
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| There’s endless entrées
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| Extend the length of time you exercise
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| Eons, days
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| Escape encounters with louts and rowdy hooligans
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| Or environments ensure you’ll eventually be food again
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| Charisma!
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| Communists conquered this clean continent
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| And concomitantly corruption was the consequence
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| As such, you must be confident
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| And cognizant of compliments
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| Confirming that commercially you’re consummately competent
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| Convert companions to confidantes
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| Convincing them to change a cuddly toy
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| For cutlery and condiments
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| Swallow down countless cups of cocktails
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| And charm your way from harm, chum
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| Combat curtailed
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| Oh so special!
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| Spells out that you’re quite swell!
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| Intelligence!
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| Is idiocy inverted
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| Innate instinct
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| Take information and interpret it
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| The inner intuition and initiative
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| To impliment inventive ideas
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| To be inquisitive
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| It is indicative of ingrained imagination
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| To take an inspiration and create an innovation
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| Insure against injury through investigation
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| Because ignorance induces incapacitation
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| Agility!
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| After all the aggro
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| Antagonists are all too available
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| There’s no ASBOs
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| Accelerate your acts of accurate aim
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| And have any angry adversaries aptly aflame
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| Avoid adverse assaults from automatics
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| Avert or annul their action with acrobatics
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| Agility!
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| Amazing adaptability
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| Awesome!
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| What an absolutely ace ability
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| Oh so special!
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| Spells out that you’re quite swell!
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| Luck!
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| The lady
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| That lowers the likelihood of life’s lotto’s loss for the lazy
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| When you’re larking with lice
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| That are larger than life
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| At least you’ll have the lethal last laugh and the like
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| The lie of the land’s less than lavish and lovely
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| But when looking for loot you’ll locate lots of luxury
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| Loads of little lowlifes leering at your luggage?
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| A lone laddy’s liable to let them learn what luck is
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| Congratulations, you’ve passed the test
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| Yes!
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| From everyone at Vault-Tec
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| Splendid work on your success
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| Give yourself a pat on the back
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| And maybe shake hands
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| Then perambulate into the haze of the wasteland
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| War
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| War never changes
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| Look at the history book’s torn up pages
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| Cause when the dust settles after all out war
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| You’ll be glad we taught you what to deal with Fallout Four
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| You’re special!
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| Oh so special!
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| Spells out that you’re quite swell! |