| There now follows a party political gangster rap
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| On behalf of the UK Independence Party
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| Hello
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| I’m Nigel Farage
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| Also known as Nigel Farage
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| Nigel Farage
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| So step back, Nicki Minaj
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| Cause I’m a wicked politician at large
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| With a vision of Britain
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| With no immigrant barges
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| Barging in
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| Causing arguments and argy-bargy
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| The Falklands is ours
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| We barred it from the Argies
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| Don’t mess with the UK Independence Party
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| Cause we’ve a tendency to get nasty
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| Each time I gave a splendid speech
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| We gained momentum, speed
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| Faraging with a vengeance
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| We are in the ascendancy
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| A swing of the pendulum
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| And we will gain a bench of seats
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| Unrepentantly pro-Independence
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| See, my ideal ending scene
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| Is a never-ending referendum
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| On foreign bureaucrats
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| And where the heck we’re going to send them
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| Next on the agenda?
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| Bloody hell, I can’t remember
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| I’m too busy thinking
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| Of becoming an honourable member
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| I’m that friendly MEP
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| Aiming for an MBE
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| The Lib Dems and the BNP
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| They envy me
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| They know what I’m going to be
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| So they’re poking fun at me
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| I’ve no fear
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| Bring your smears
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| Sling your mud at me
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| But bugger bringing in a single currency
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| What’s the problem
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| With the monetary system we’ve got currently?
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| Great Britain is an excellent island
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| Significantly better than Ireland
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| I learned not
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| To be outnumbered by a bunch of Scots
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| Cause they’ve a tendency
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| To pile in and get violent
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| But I’m a man of great class
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| Make you look a straight ass
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| I carry on my campaign
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| Straight after a plane crash
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| Tell these champagne Socialists
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| I’m here to gatecrash
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| I’ll Moët to your Babycham
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| And I can’t wait to break glass
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| Rah
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| I dedicate this ungodly tune
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| To an MEP gone too soon
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| In memory of Godfrey Bloom
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| Rest in peace, Godfrey
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| What?
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| I know he’s not actually dead
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| But it’s better than saying he was forced to leave
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| For calling a group of women at the conference a bunch of sluts
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| Anyway, I digress
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| The point of the message that I’m trying to convey today
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| Is that voting for UKIP would be a splendid idea
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| The fighting bull strikes again
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| God save the Queen
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| Penelope Keith
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| Dennis the Menace
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| Roger the Dodger
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| Tintin
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| What?
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| Tintin’s Belgian?
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| Why wasn’t I informed of this?
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| Why did nobody tell that Tintin is Belgian?!
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| Get his literature out of my office now! |