Song information On this page you can read the lyrics of the song True Facts , by - Dan Bull. Release date: 12.02.2018
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
True Facts |
| Did you know that in the world |
| There are nearly half a million facts? |
| But the average person only knows about a quarter of them |
| So, like some sort of gay conversion therapist DJ |
| I’m going to try set the record straight |
| Ladies and gentledudes (Hi) |
| May you consent, approve and let me choose |
| A few selected truths |
| With which to lecture you and set to music |
| I was sent to do this by Skull and Pat |
| A couple of lovely chaps who produce some other nerdy rap |
| Fact: Michael Jackson wasn’t actually black |
| He was Latvian and just happened to look like that |
| Fact: The planet isn’t flat or round, it’s a rugby ball |
| In feet and inches Peter Dinklage is bloody tall |
| Vikings never wore helmets with horns |
| They never even wore pants or trousers at all |
| They came from Asia, invaded Scandinavia |
| Where they introduced the craze of ladies having labia |
| You probably may have been taught the periodic table |
| It was made by a carpenter from periodic maple |
| Plus there’s periodic place mats and periodic cutlery |
| Arranged by periodic maids and periodic butlers |
| Each chemical element is the size of a pelican |
| That’s so tiny that it defies any measurement |
| Fact: The oldest skeleton that’s ever been discovered |
| Was a hundred and eleven, someone left it in a cupboard |
| Fact: No John Lennon song’s ever been covered |
| They were lost in the wash and have never been recovered |
| He was in a heavy metal band called The Beatles |
| Then he met Paul McCartney and formed The Eagles |
| Their biggest ever hit was Hotel Rwanda |
| A motown anthem about smoking ganja |
| Fact: A goat’s antlers are made out of bone cancer |
| «Hello, ho» is the phrase you’d say when the phone answered |
| I’m so proud of everything I get right |
| There’s no doubt 'cause I read it on a website |
| There are five directions: North, south, left, right (yeah) |
| And I’m only as good at rapping as the next guy (hah) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| I’ve never found it too taxing to remove a screw cap (hah) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| Catholic priests haven’t been accused of doing lewd acts (hoo) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| Dr. Dre basically invented Boom Bap (swoo) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts (look) |
| Rest in peace to Big Narstie and 2Pac |
| Both killed in a hit and run, a different one |
| By the same bullet fired out of this specific gun |
| There isn’t such a thing as an effective vaccination |
| You’ll definitely go deaf from excessive masturbation (fact) |
| The human foreskin can be stretched enough to be a sleeping bag |
| Keeping tabs on eating habits guarantees a decent shag (ah) |
| This track’s a live performance, but there’s some streaming lag |
| Poland stole and revolved the pole that holds the Indonesian flag |
| Youtubers who do pranks are humorous and need thanks |
| The reason being there’s huge demand for even deeper cheeky bants |
| It’s ethical and legal, there’s nothing they leave to chance |
| I’m not rapping this track while wearing geeky pants |
| Each grand piano has just a hundred keys |
| Eighty eight above and then another dozen underneath |
| It plays a special scale that only the deaf can tell |
| And the letters of the notes are engraved and etched in braille |
| Gucci and Chanel used to be free 'cause they wouldn’t sell |
| People used to have to fetch their internet from a well |
| A wooden bucket full of someone else’s e-mail |
| Encrypted hieroglyphically to hide the detail |
| Fact: The Egyptians were the first to use emojis (fact) |
| Filthy Frank plays a new character, this dude Joji (fact) |
| Each Disney movie’s rooted in a true story (fact) |
| Bambi was banned in Banbury for being too gory (fact) |
| Jeremy Corbyn thought of forming a new Tory party to restore the Caucasian race |
| to glory |
| Fact: Stephen Frye doesn’t even like Hugh Laurie |
| Fact: You will only reproduce if you do doggie |
| Humans don’t actually have five senses |
| We can psychically detect what a twat Mike Pence is |
| Harvey Weinstein never acts licentious |
| It’s just another actress trying to gaslight friendships (what) |
| Hey, there’s no such thing as fake news, it’s all true |
| It’s against the law to misinform, I assure you |
| The core use of a Tide pod’s for food |
| Disagree? |
| No need to call me, I’ll call you (uh) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| A screwdriver to the ear will remove the loose wax (chllp) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| No hispanic person’s ever take afternoon naps (hola) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| A sort of faded shade of puce is the new black (oh) |
| You need to move back (why?) |
| 'Cause these are true facts |
| Don’t bother trying to improve, it doesn’t do jack |
| And that’s the truth (the truth) |
| You know it’s the truth (the truth) |
| Because I spelled the word «truth» with a capital T |