Lyrics The Gospel According to Trademark West - Dan Bull, The Slapdash Rapper

The Gospel According to Trademark West

Hello sir, good morning
Please answer the door
We’ve been knocking for an hour
And we’d really like your attention for a second
We’ve a message for you
Bless you
Yes, you need to hear the good news
Of our Saviour, our blessed destiny manifest
Let me tell you about our Lord and Saviour, Kanye West
Kanye loves you
And you should love Kanye
More importantly Kanye loves Kanye
Kanye is the brightest
The best and the boldest
And we know this
Because Kanye Told us
He wakes in the morning with his flawless skin
In an enormous four poster bed and he grins
Jawline to die for plus he’s married to Kim
In a gorgeous Fur coat that he’s already in
And you can forget cologne
Kanye farts pure pheromones
A full length mirror by the bog
Watch the Throne
See he makes the best cup of tea
He only uses half a sugar but it tastes like three
He steps out of his mansion if the skies are grey
Claps his hands and the fans come and brighten his day
He waves to the waiting paparazzi
Passes a tray of lemonade
And a plate of panda pasties
It’s not nasty
That he should make a tasty snack, see
They’re mating in his garden
And he’s bringing back the species
Then he sees and fistbumps the postman
Praise Yeezus!
More fanmail to open
When I say he’s from the street
I mean he’s on the street
Greeting everyone he meets
And it’s beyond belief
Knocked up my wife with a high five
The highlight of my life
Sired a child on my behalf
My, what a nice guy
I know right
But with genetics this miraculous
Why would he even need to remix his ejaculate?
When asexual eugenics is exceedingly spectacular
Erection?
Fabulous!
Conception?
Miraculous!
He sleeps with Kim for fun, but he really doesnt need to
When Kanye reproduces he splits like an amoeba
He’s the key to prevent humanity’s destruction
He can build IKEA flatpacks without the instructions
He transcends the proletariat’s class struggle
He can travel through time
And he can juggle
He visited the third world, made dirty water sanitized
Met an orphan girl and Autotuned her daddy back to life
Brought peace to the Middle East
And ceased global conflict
Manipulates the world so it’s just the way he wants it
Reiterates for all that he can silence the racists
Who are you to say he’s not the first black spaceship?
Leaps into the sky seeding life on other planets
The universe can’t even exist without him, can it?
What’s triggered this?
He’s shrieking his lungs out
He’s talking gibberish and speaking in tongues
Wow