Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem, artist - Dan Bull.
Date of issue: 22.09.2022
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem |
In the middle of the village was a household |
A little different to the others, they weren’t as cold |
So let’s go down below |
To meet the only townsfolk made out of snow |
He was a clown, you know, loved pranking, bro |
Suddenly pouncing, making people round say, «Oh!» |
His name was bob and his daily job |
Was guarding the town nightly at eight o’clock |
But Bob got so bored |
That he’d lob snowballs at the locals |
And although all snow that was thrown here was frozen |
Nobody really thought it was so cool |
Wasn’t the most socially appropriate |
Mode of approaching the folk who would go to the law court |
To report that he broke rules |
Had a vote and of course they’d enforce he be stonewalled |
He was caged and afraid, he would wave and say, «Hey» |
To the kids, parents shaking their heads |
And they would make them look away |
Just as if he didn’t exist |
And so Bob made the decision to begin making amends |
Said, «Sorry, mama, never meant to hit you |
Never meant to make you cry |
So could I be freed now?» |
I promise that I will throw no snow |
I’ll go home, keep it on the low low, so |
This town isn’t a no go zone no more |
Just a cup of cocoa and a ho ho ho |
No po po, yo, just a nice time, ah |
Though uh-oh, yo, it’s the night time |
Ah, and once the sunset’s done, the undead come so be afraid |
They’re such a hungry bunch, they want to munch and eat your brains |
Nowhere to run and hide, no they’ll just come inside |
Wherever you put your bum, they’re going to come and find you |
But Bob noticed the bloody loud commotion |
Would have dove in but wasn’t allowed, the townsfolk |
Just forbode him, it was foreboding to know |
That he couldn’t go, no chucking snow, so he felt frozen |
The zombies closed in, it was as though |
They were hunting for something, enclosures were opened |
Pumpkins were jumped, there was no clear motive |
But phobia punching a pumpkin is odious |
Bob took umbrage at his bros being broken |
And broke those oaths that he won’t throw snow |
He was ready to bury any undead in the area |
With a bo, bo, bo, bo, bo |
Go home, zombies, ain’t it obvious, we don’t want them |
We got 'em good, got 'em gone, and with no problem |
So the folk bestowed honors and wrote heroid songs |
In honor of Bob the snow golem |
And although they were so fond of him, doted on him |
They couldn’t condone lobbing snow with no punishment |
He was thrown back inside, like Bo Burnham |
Was trapped in an iron and stone column, no comment |
How could you live knowing you’ve done it? |
Have you no honor? |
Got me stuck here till the midsummer? |
That’s some folk horror |
Folks want to go on about having free will |
Till you put 'em in a crowd more than three then they’re evil |
That’s when Bob said, «Well, then I’ll be damned |
If I let the crowd mentality get me down, I’m planning to throw down |
You turned me barbaric like a snowcone Conan |
Now feel the wrath of the snowman |
Brap, brap, brap, run home and close the doors |
I’m chucking frozen balls at you with no remorse |
You could have brokered peace but now you’ve chosen war |
I’ll suffer no defeat till every person falls |
So every player be warned, this is the perfect storm |
And till the weather’s turning warm |
I’ll lob those snowballs at the locals till there are no more |