| Look, Tommy Angelo ain’t usually the kind of guy to spill the beans
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| But beneath the glitz and gleam, this business is filled with fiends
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| So I’m switching teams, snitching, sneaking, went my way
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| Then slinking off to witness protection at Empire Bay
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| Never thought I’d be an informer, officer, I ain’t your rat
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| But if it’s either that or getting kneecapped with a baseball bat
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| Then it’s obvious, I got no option but to cough it up
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| So you’re gonna hear me singing like a canary at the opera
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| Or a broad who’s getting loose as a goose at the speakeasy
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| Jeez, I’ve seen scenes obscene enough to make queasy
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| See, we kinda like the finer things the violence brings
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| Fine dining and wine to drink, a taxi driver’s dream
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| For beating prohibition, lost heaven needs a coalition
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| You can refuse me any time but you’re in no position
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| I hope you’re listening, no read between the lines
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| Heed my unspoken wishes, fish are keen to meet my client
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| He’ll be feeling fine, he just needs some cleaning time
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| Look, he’s just deep-sea diving
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| What the f**k you mean he’s dying?
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| So tell the boys they’d be well advised in avoiding Illinois
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| 'Cause we’re the type to visit a journalist by whom we’re vilified
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| Never mind the crime file, ours was a lavish lifestyle
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| Any violent transaction enacted purely mercantile
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| Honestly, some of these wiseguys are quite vile, it’s kinda wild
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| What you can hide behind a nice tie and a polite smile
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| «You're flesh and blood», says Don Salieri, «My child»
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| «Until the time we see you through St. Peter’s turnstile»
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| Your life might need the mafia to take it off of you
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| Ey, no need to walk away, we brought a car for you
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| We’re gonna take you for a ride around the block
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| And if you’re feeling shy, we’ll help you find out how to talk
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| They’ll need a team of guys to dry you out the dock
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| They’ll find you drowned with a block tied around your socks
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| That’s what’ll happen when you’re diving down with sharks
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| So now your time’s arrived to lie in the ground in a box
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| Fertilising flowers till we cut 'em by the stalks
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| Lying in a shallow grave, no rocks to mark the plot
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| Pause for thought, you wanna talk profit and loss?
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| Talk to the boss, I ain’t even sure if he works in his office or not
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| But I certainly never heard of him, officer, I’m at a loss
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| As to how the perp could have murdered, purloined
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| And driven off with the profit, it was all part of the plan
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| We’d park the van behind that dark sedan
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| The hired hands would wait for our command
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| And then start to scram
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| Shift shipments of contraband while listening to Sinatra’s band
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| If you ain’t in this life don’t even try to understand
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| You can call our tactics underhanded, I call 'em slick
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| Like after the lancers game, you just happen to call in sick
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| We’re all magicians
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| It’s just how we perform the trick that’s different
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| I can blow holes through vault walls that are four-inch thick
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| So of course, we’re mafioso, you darn bozo
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| No, I don’t think so, I friggin' know so
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| The whole neighbourhood we control’s a no-go
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| So if you don’t hope for a bolt cutter to both toes
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| You better no-show
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| Make yourself a Joe Schmoe, the folk nobody don’t know
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| See, this business don’t go for slogans and logos, no
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| We keep it on the low-low, no fingerprints or photos
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| Right under your nose
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| We throw you off the scent when we blow smoke
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| Quid pro quo, keep your friends and foes both close
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| Or soon enough you’ll be thinking, «Ey, where’d all the dope go?»
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| Stole coke by the boatload in packets labelled «cocoa»
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| Yeah, although we got a sense of humour this is no joke
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| Let me make a toast though to the
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| Most ferocious folks you’d hope to know
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| Cosa nostra, no one’s closer, no one’s supposed to
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| Now those associates know I broke the code, the oath, omerta
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| I’ve woken from the dream, the false hope of America |