| Have you ever seen a man climbing a wall
|
| Up the side of a building that is decidedly tall?
|
| Who despite gravity trying is declining to fall
|
| One can only imagine the flipping size of his balls
|
| Well that’s me known as Spiderman or Spidey
|
| And I’m called Peter Parker really though I should be Peter Parkour
|
| Leaping through the dark gloomy city coming at you
|
| Weaving over roofs like a traditional thatcher
|
| So no matter your stance or your status or statue
|
| You, bad guys, are flies and I’m going to catch you
|
| This one’s for Gwen and uncle Ben, dedicated to Aunt May
|
| I’m the man you dress up as when you’re too lazy to cosplay
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Does whatever a spider can (hey)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| He’s not a mutant, it’s an overactive thyroid gland (wo)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| I’m delivering this line from my diaphragm (hey)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| If you still don’t get it — here’s a diagram (ey)
|
| I’m Iron Man but without the massive salary
|
| I’m Bruce Wayne if he had a loving family
|
| I’m Bruce Banner but without being ripped or angry
|
| I’m the Black Panther but without much of a tan on me
|
| I’m the Flash if he hadn’t even ran at speed
|
| I’m Jean Grey but with a double a cup mammary
|
| I’m Deadpool if he lacked a personality
|
| I’m James Gunn without directing Guardians of the Galaxy-oh
|
| I’ll just pop out for a vertical jog
|
| Where buildings penetrate the sky like a cervical swab
|
| I started at the bottom now I’m traversing atop
|
| A massive phallic symbol as if it’s my personal knob
|
| Err, you’ll have to take my word for it, but I’m this handsome
|
| Definitely not a virgin
|
| My dick Branson
|
| Oh sorry, I just went off on a big tangent
|
| But now I’m trapping you in the web like Chris Hansen
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Does whatever a spider can (hey)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Goes hard like a penile implant (wo)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Does whatever a spider can (hey)
|
| Apart from eating their mate during copulation that we know of anyway
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Spider-man
|
| I’m a happy kind of rapper guy
|
| No grime pretense
|
| Yeah, I’m a little camp but so are tiny tents
|
| Look, in my defense, I can’t rely on my spidey sense
|
| And I can’t deny that I’m immense
|
| So why pretend? |
| It’s kind of dense
|
| I’m the headliner, you guys are the side events
|
| I fly across the skyline while you try to climb a fence
|
| High flying Fashionista wrapped in tight lycra
|
| Defying expectations of my critics like bycra
|
| Say I can’t swing roof to roof — that’s fake news
|
| It’s not up to me to prove the truth
|
| So if you dispute then I refuse to tiptoe
|
| You can take it straight up with Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
|
| It’s risky like investing into P2P crypto
|
| Or expecting to see Diplo at the D of E disco
|
| So come along to my swingers club
|
| I’ll bring the white stuff if you bring the bub
|
| I’ve got a thing for Kinbaku
|
| The kink I love and don’t be scared if you find a spider in the tub
|
| I’m here to help you get over arachnophobia
|
| So don’t be afraid
|
| You’re like a cobweb when I blow you away
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Does whatever a spider can (hey)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Gets ASMR during an eye exam (wo)
|
| Spider-man, Spider-man
|
| Never constipated, thanks to high fibre bran (hey)
|
| Let me promote for a mo, hope you don’t mind the spam
|
| This track’s on Google Music, Spotify and Tidal, damn (ey) |