| Ahoy, mateys
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| Lovely day
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| There’s nothing like a life at sea
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| Breathe in the briny breeze, you’ll never feel quite as free
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| A perfect day for paddling, so, come and dive with me
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| I wear a pair of peg legs to hide the fact I’m five-foot-three
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| There lurks a sight to see, beneath the gleaming surface
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| That just happens to be here like it was on purpose
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| But a pirate’s only duty’s answering the call of booty
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| Through all the beauty, mutiny, the loot and the appalling cruelty
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| You won’t have a long life expectancy
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| I mean respectfully, what do you expect at sea?
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| When you’re stepping in a grapeshot’s trajectory
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| It’s balls meets balls, what a mess of a vasectomy
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| On Devil’s Ridge beneath the sands
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| The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
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| Seek the cursed boar shrine, where there is no sky
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| It lies in wait for a light held high
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| Where’s the treasure hiding on this desert island?
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| Guess we’d better find 'em
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| But these skeleton fellows are intending to pile in
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| Well if they want to pile in, we’ll leave them in a pile
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| In a heap, we reamed them into pieces like a hymen
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| Jesus, even I can’t believe the things I’m rhyming
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| Blame my rhyming dictionary, because it isn’t very…
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| Stop to admire the view and have a bit of fruit
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| It’s not just ammo that the cannon here can shoot
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| On Devil’s Ridge beneath the sands
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| The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
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| Seek the cursed boar shrine, where there is no sky
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| It lies in wait for a light held high
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| Now, that the time’s arrived to head into the cave
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| I’m suddenly not feeling so particularly brave
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| So it’s lucky, lucky for me that I’m with my mates
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| I’ll just stay here at the back to guarantee we can escape
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| Yeah, I’ll just look at these pictures, you go ahead
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| Umm, you alright in there, bro? |
| Oh, he’s dead
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| Hold your lantern high, behold the rancid sight
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| If I were you, I’d take a moment to ensure your pants are dry
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| On Devil’s Ridge beneath the sands
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| The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
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| Seek the cursed boar shrine, where there is no sky
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| It lies in wait for a light held high
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| I’m sure your chest ought to be somewhere northwest
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| More or less over there, below the floor, I guess
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| Aw, yes! |
| Let’s get it, leg it and do one
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| Before the skeleton’s get a sniff and tear us a new one
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| Do you want to be one like sailors in the past have?
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| No? |
| Then run away, no one’s invented satnavs
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| Left, right, up, down, it doesn’t matter, what’s the diff'?
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| You’ve got no option, so just fricking bomb it off the cliff
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| Plummet into rock pools, I’m not gonna stop, fools
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| I’ve got jewels and my crew’s got tools
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| What you gonna do?
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| You’re too skinny to be starting trouble, fellows
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| Back to the ship in a jiffy, quick, we’re parked on double yellows
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| I swear, every time we check the map, we get attacked
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| And when I work out who keeps doing that, they’ll get a slap
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| I’ve only just redecorated in my cabin
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| Grabbing some ammo, then get straight into the cannon
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| Hit the deck of a ship that’s wrecked, showing disrespect
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| Whip out my pistol, blast the captain into bits of flesh
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| There’s nothing like the stench of singed gunpowder, it’s the best
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| Ah, so, this is why they call this middle deck the mess
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| You should switch the decor up in here, I’ve got a bit depressed
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| I’d better ditch and jet to collect the biggest cheque
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| Hoist the main sails, man the tiller, wheel or rudder
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| We’re feeling good and…
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| Wait, come back! |
| Oh, bugger!
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| On Devil’s Ridge beneath the sands
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| The gold lies hidden from thieving hands
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| Seek the cursed boar shrine, where there is no sky
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| It lies in wait for a light held high
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| Captain?
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| Ain’t those lyrics copyrighted from the game or something?
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| Well, yes, they probably are
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| But what do you expect?
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| We’re pirates! |