| I had dreams of starring in spaghetti westerns
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| I’d be Clint Eastwood
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| But he’s tough, and better dressed
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| But luckily for me
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| There is a way to live my fantasy
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| The Red Dead franchise
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| Will let me be that man for cheap
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| My own family won’t even know me
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| I’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone
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| I saw the trailer for the game
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| And thought my brain would fall away
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| It made my morning great
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| Tore away the ball and chain
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| I say i’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone
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| Now hang about a moment
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| While I saddle up my pony
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| I’m ready to roam
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| Into the desert alone
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| Stepping into the unknown
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| Heading in westward ho
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| Ahead of the heather the zephyr has blown
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| I’m there for the treasure, the throne
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| Whenever I get it I’m setting off home
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| To my homestead
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| Where i’d better declare my intention to own
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| Red Dead Redemption
|
| But wait
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| What did we forget to mention?
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| A simultaneous release on Steam?
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| No intention
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| But why do you feel the need
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| To tease the PC players?
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| To keep us waiting is the cheapest sales technique
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| The same as GTA is
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| So yet again the Steam train’s been delayed
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| Come on, Rockstar
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| That’s a cheeky way to treat a mate
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| Yeah, make us pay upon the day you brought it out once
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| Then port to PC after about
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| Ooh
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| Twelve months
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| Back in the 90's you guys were PC pioneers
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| The kind i’d like to buy a beer
|
| Here’s my shoulder, cry a tear
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| Now you provide a new title every five years
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| On proprietary gear
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| Just let me buy it here
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| See, i’m Dan Houser meets Sergio Leone
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| If Sergio Leone was only owned by Sony
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| Fkin' blow me
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| I’m sorry I said that |