| Hello Ian, how the hell have you been?
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| It’s me again, your favorite rapping European
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| I’m here to leave you burnt like black toast
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| Welcome to the first ever episode of Rap Roasts
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| Ian, the type of content you make’s that gross
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| You’re just milk intolerance, lactose
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| Now, for anyone who’s unfamilliar with your channel watching
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| You do a really funny series called «Bad Unboxing»
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| So I brought a box full of props of raps I’m dropping
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| And after that you could use it as your actual coffin
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| You already know smoking’s bad for your health
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| So you must really crave having two fags in you mouth
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| Time to destress
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| Stop and take a deep breath
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| Not because you need air, fuck, I just want to hear you speak less
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| You look a reet mess
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| Woody Allen meets meth
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| Your ideal orgy’s a sausage meat fest
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| You’re so scrawny and you’ve got such a meek chest
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| That you still wear your age 0−3 vest
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| Invisible eyebrows on fleek, yes
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| With specs that thick you’re never going to see chef
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| Of all the Ians in the world you’re the least best
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| You’re a bad driver, you deserve to have your jeep wrecked
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| You frail cracker, I could snap you like a crackerjack
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| And by the way, the past wants its glasses back
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| I’m a bit funny looking, check the size of my head
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| It still got nothing on your giant surprise egg
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| I’d lie to break it open, that’d be delightful
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| You look like a scrotum rolled over a lightbulb
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| When you were born your mum thought she’d either done a turd or given birth to
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| a puppet out of thunderbirds
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| Say something
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| I’ll take your fake diamond play button
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| And give you a face fucking
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| So you can taste sucking
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| You lame shut in
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| Get out and get some sunlight
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| Training for a fight’s quite effective if it’s done right
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| But you don’t want to get into the ring with Jinx
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| You do want to get into Jinx’s ring, methinks
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| Ugh, sitting in your room topping up your cummy sock
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| Then sucking out every fluffy crusty yummy drop
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| Like a hungry Winnie The Pooh tonguing a honey pot
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| And when you catch a cold, you bukkake runny snot
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| Bouncing up and down on your thumb like a bunny hop
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| Shouting «Mommy watch! |
| You’re gonna miss the m-m- money shot»
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| Sonny, stop before your briefs get a heavy leak
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| The human rectum shouldn’t stretch more than ten inch deep
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| Remember when we went to Venice Beach?
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| You kept walking 'round talking with insensitive offensive speech
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| 'Till you annoyed a fella with Floyd Mayweather’s physique
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| And he did to you what Drake did to Meek
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| Ooh, Drama Alert, someone contact Keemstar
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| You’re not a real cop Ian, where’s your police car?
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| Rearrange the letters in Content Cop
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| And see that it’s an anagram of concept, not
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| Kickstarter crap, crap skater trick, prick attack
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| Err, crack raper tits
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| Okay, even when I say that I’m cleverer than iDubbbz
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| More popular too, here, have some of my subs
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| You’re just like me, were both acting like thugs
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| But are prone to panic attacks in nightclubs
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| Yo, the only time that you would fire slugs
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| Was if your zoo was overstaffed and you don’t like bugs
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| Museums are the only time of you seeing nice jugs
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| And your dealer needs to see prescriptions when you buy drugs
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| And now it’s crunch time for the final punchline
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| I can’t come up with one so just like and subscribe
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| Cringe
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| I’m just playing, iDubbbz, you know I love you |