| I’ve fallen in love with someone unexpected
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| Spend all of my money on her
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| Until there’s nothing left
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| And at the end of the day she waits at the corner shop
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| And lets me pop to fetch her
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| I guess that it’s a ritual now
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| I’m addicted to how she’s got me breathless
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| Ever since that first cool kiss
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| It’s bliss
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| I appear to be in love
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| With someone I never dreamed of
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| A lot of us have a soft spot for coffee
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| Well my one stop shop for pop is the offy
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| Knocking back bottles is my hobby, so what?
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| What the fuck would I want to be stopping for?
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| I lock my door, tip the bottle and pour
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| Finish off all the port, and still I’m wanting more
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| With a beer put beside me I come alive
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| I feel that my mind loosens up and thrives
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| And such delightful stuff that lights up my rubbish life
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| Is something quite tough to give up imbibing
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| There’s nothing like it, drunken nights in a pub
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| Or drunken nights in with nine tins
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| If drinking was a drinking game, I’d win
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| Then wish to play best of five
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| Then best of the rest of the night
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| 'til I’m a mess of a sight
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| But having an excellent time
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| For the rest of my life I swear
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| In the loneliest of nights
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| Yeah I’m alright
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| In the loneliest of times
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| I’m fine
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| Let me see, the bottom of a bottle is the lens
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| On which I’ve come to depend to let me see
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| I look at my friends that are ahead of me
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| I’m not going to pretend there’s no jealousy
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| I was full of potential for fun and adventures
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| But somehow the fun’s now come to an end, look:
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| Rewind back — as a lad I saw drunks
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| And thought that I would never be like that
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| Now I see people look at me like that
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| And it seems like we wind the thing right back
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| I see my past, see my path
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| And I see the spot where I wandered off life’s beaten track
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| But even that won’t sober me up, I’ll go to the pub
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| And swallow my pride til I’m throwing it up
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| Is it the lowest I’ve sunk of all time?
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| I don’t know, and I don’t give a fuck, look, I’m fine |