Lyrics DLC PLC - Dan Bull

DLC PLC

Downloadable content’s a load of nonsense
I won’t give them one cent
It wouldn’t be conscientious
Encouraging dodgy ventures
Like when you’ve been robbed
Do you get your property straight back from the fences?
I wanna know what the defence is
Hence this musical census
Pay attention to community consensus
To prevent this backlash of hashtags
And truly contentious lambasts, e.g.
«I hope you’re shoving your Prothean
Up your fallopian»
No wonder the planet’s becoming dystopian
Draconian Napoleons invoking pandemonium
And I might be blowin' my own euphonium
By «in' this
But I know I’m not the only one that’s pissed
My data’s trapped inside the disc
Sat in lines of script
And I have to pay to take it out
What kind of shit is this?
It’s the DLC PLC
Where we make money sellin' people
Things that were free
Welcome to the DLC PLC
Where we charge you for things
You bought previously
No need to be dishonest
The incompleted product’s a piece of bollocks
So please give me the pieces of it
And leave my wallet, I need the dollars
But don’t be extremely bothered
I’ll probably buy the sequel of it
'Cause that’s the key
The reason it keeps on happening, it’s obvious
If you pay them quids they take the piss
And get away with it
Until they’re pinchin' all your paper
Like a paperclip
«And what would our forefathers
Have thought of horse armor?
It’s all rather an awful palaver
Perhaps I should make a call and talk to Obama»
You’re causing drama
And according to the laws of karma
Stir the water, sure enough
Of course you’ll taunt the poor piranhas
So try to pull my jaws apart
I’m sure you can’t
I’m sinkin' my teeth into the greed
Inherently buried in DLC things
Hidden fees and prices surprising me like bee stings
«Is it any wonder we punters are seething»
At the DLC PLC
Where we make money sellin' people
Things that were free
Welcome to DLC PLC
Where we charge you for things
You bought previously
I’m sorry, but Verse 3 is only available in the Premium version of this song
If you would like to acquire the Premium version
Then please bend over with your VISA, American Express or MasterCard lodged
tightly between your buttocks
Thank you for your continued loyalty
From everybody
At the DLC PLC
Where we make money sellin'
People things that were free
Welcome to DLC PLC
Where we charge you for things
You bought previously
The DLC PLC
The DLC PLC
Downloadable content… what is it?
What use does it have?
What function does
it serve?
I mean, obviously I know the answer, but it’s a sort of rhetorical
question I suppose.
So maybe you think about it whether… whether it’s good
for the gaming community, whether it’s good for the industry, what your
thoughts about it are.
I’m very keen to know!