| Whenever life gets you down
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| Keeps you wearing a frown
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| And the gravy train has left you behind
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| And when you’re all out of hope
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| Down at the end of your rope
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| And nobody’s there to throw you a line
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| If you ever get so low that you don’t know which way to go
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| Come on and take a walk in my shoes
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| Never worry 'bout a thing, got the world on a string
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| 'Cause I’ve got the cure for all of my blues (All of his blues)
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| I take a look at my enormous penis
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| And my troubles start a-meltin' away (Ba-doo-bop-bop)
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| I take a look at my enormous penis
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| And the happy times are coming to stay
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| I gotta sing and I dance when I glance in my pants
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| And the feeling’s like a sunshiney day
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| I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis
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| And everything is goin' my way (Ba-doo-bop-bop)
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| Everybody!
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| I take a look at my enormous penis
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| And my troubles start a-meltin' away (ba-doo-bop-bop)
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| I take a look at my enormous penis
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| And the happy times are coming to stay
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| Yeah, I got great big amounts in the place where it counts
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| And the feeling’s like a sunshiney day
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| I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis
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| And everything is goin' my way (My trouser monster)
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| Everything is goin' my way (My meat is murder)
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| Everything is goin' my way (Size doesn’t matter)
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| Everything is goin' my way
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| Yumm |