| Now this may sound disgusting and like very gross
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| But it’s sure to have you trippin', so yo, listen close
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| It’s not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar
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| But it’s rather on the bug tip and it’s called Pickin' Boogers
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| Now what I’m MCin' might not seem kosher to you
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| But it’s still somethin' we all have to do
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| So go up your nose with a finger or two
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| And pull out one or a crusty crew
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| Yo, don’t try to front like it’s so gloomy and gray
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| 'Cause we all pick our boogers some time every day
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| Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip
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| With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip
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| Take it from the Biz Markie because I’m jokin'
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| And also, remember this slogan
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| «Hey, ma, what’s for dinner?
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| Go up your nose and pick a winner»
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| Pickin' Boogers (4x)
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| Let me tell you what happened on the train, man
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| I was coolin' one day with my partner Kane
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| Headed up to the Rooftop, ridin' the D train
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| When the man sittin' next to me was so profane
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| He’d stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain
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| (You should 'a moved)
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| I was just about, but all of a sudden, homeboy just pulled out
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| A big green slimy — nah, I’m not neven gonna say it
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| But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it
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| He sat there for a while with it in his hand
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| So I tried to play cool and like ignore the man
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| So I laid my head back to catch a quick a nap
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| All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap
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| Now Kane sat there laughing like it was all a joke
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| But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked
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| So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five
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| And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye
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| Then the man jumped up and said «What's wrong with you?»
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| And wiped them off his face and said «I can’t mess with you!»
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| Like if I did something that was so full of shame
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| But yo, you got to know the name of the game
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| Hmmm…
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| Now let me take a trip down memory lane
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| Back in public school with my partner Kane
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| When I was class clown, and he was my brother
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| Sittin' at the desk pluckin' boogers at each other
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| Never doin' work as we was supposed
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| 'Cause we was too busy diggin' up our nose
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| And in the lunchroom you would talk about rude
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| God forbid the person that’d leave his food
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| No matter who you are we didn’t give a damn
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| We even put teachers down with the program
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| Whether if it was a woman or if you a man
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| We put boogers on our fingers then shake ya hand
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| Catch anyone from anywhere
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| But the best fun about it catchin' Kane out there
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| Especially when we playin' ball in the gym
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| I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him
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| Now we’re grown up and things have changed
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| But we still be playin' the pickin' boogers game
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| Just last night, when Kane was gettin' ready
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| I slipped a little green one inside his spaghetti
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| Let me tell you what happened to me with this girl…
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| One night at Latin Quarters I was standin' at ease
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| I saw this gorgeous young lady that I wanted to skeez
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| I didn’t show enough that I really did want it
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| So, no half steppin', I pushed up on it
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| Pulled out the gold cable and I knocked her with phat
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| Had a spotlight beamin' on my Biz Marck hat
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| But when she stepped in the light and she got real close
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| I saw a tiny weeny booger on the tip of her nose
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| She was dressed real def and her body was hooked
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| But that dried up booger just ruined her look
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| I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn’t be bold
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| So I played if off and said «that's a cute green mole»
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| I was hopin' from that she would wipe it away
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| But she didn’t do nothin' I guess she wanted it to stay
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| I said before you get my number, I don’t mean to diss you
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| But write it in your hand because you’re gonna need the tissue |