Lyrics Toll Booth Willie - Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie

Toll Booth Willie: Welcome to Worchester.
Dollar twenty-five please.
M1: Hey, how ya doin’Toll Booth Willie?
Toll Booth Willie: Good!
Thanks fer askin, pop!
M1: Aww, that’s great, you know, considering yer a fuckin’idiot!
Toll Booth Willie: Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I’ll come right
outta the booth and fuckin’whack ya, you fuckin’prick!
M2: Hey, hey, Willie!
Hows it going?
Toll Booth Willie: Hey, can’t complain, pop.
Hows 'bout you?
M2: Oh, great, great.
How much?
Toll Booth Willie: The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.
M2: That’s fine.
Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the
quarters directly up your fat ass?!
Toll Booth Willie: Why you fuckin’hard on!
I’ll fucking Carlton Fisk
yer fuckin’head with a Louise-ville fuckin’slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck?!
F1: Hi Willie.
Toll Booth Willie: Oh, nice to see ya M’am.
Not a bad day, huh?
F1: Well, I’m a little lost.
Could you help me out?
I hear your the
best with directions.
Toll Booth Willie: Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much.
So where ya headed?
F1: Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive
up your ass.
You know, if you’d tell me, I’d appreciate it, you fuckin'
prick.
Toll Booth Willie: You fuckin’bitch!
Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the
fuckin’toll you dirty whore!
I’ll fuckin’drop you with a boot to the
fuckin’skull you cum guzzling queen!
M3: Hey Willie.
Toll Booth Willie: Hey, how are ya?
M3: Here’s a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.
Toll Booth Willie: Dah, you fuckin’prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin’bottle cap, ya fuckin’son of a fuck!
Eat shit!
Eat my shit!
Bishop Nelson: Hello Willie.
Good to see you.
Toll Booth Willie: Ahhh, Bishop Nelson.
Nice to see ya.
That was quite
a sermon you had the other day.
Bishop Nelson: Hey, well I do my best.
Toll Booth Willie: Dollar twenty-five, Bishop.
Bishop Nelson: Dollar twenty-five, Willie.
Isn’t that the same price
your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit?!
Toll Booth Willie: Ohhh!
Have another one, you fuckin’lush!
It’s not
my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’douche bag!
M5: Hey!
Toll Booth Willie: Well hey!
M5: Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters
directly up your fat ass?!
Toll Booth Willie: Well, I already heard that one you fuckin'
unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin’piece of repeatin’shit!
F2: Hi.
Toll Booth Willie: Oh, hi.
How are ya?
F2: Fine, thank you.
How much is the toll please?
Toll Booth Willie: For you sweetheart, it’s a dollar twenty-five.
F2: Here ya go.
F2: Thank you.
Toll Booth Willie: Hey!
Hey!
Honey!
Would you like a receipt with
that?
F2: Oh, I almost forgot.
Thank you so much.
Toll Booth Willie: And here ya are.
F2: Umm, do you think you could sign it?
Toll Booth Willie: Oh, uh.
sign it?
F2: Yeah, sign Toll Booth Willie was here.
Toll Booth Willie: Ok, sure.
Uhh, by the way, what is this for?
F2: Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest
fuckin’dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.
Toll Booth Willie: Fuck you, you fuckin’upity bitch!
I’ll fuckin’fuck
you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin'
mothers!
You’re gonna die, bitch!
I’m comin’outta the booth!
[Opens
the door and runs out of the booth]
Toll Booth Willie: Ooooh!
My fuckin’leg!
M6: Hey!
You ran over Toll Booth Willie!
M7: Oh my God!
I was always wondering what it would be like to run over
a dried up stinky dick licker.
Toll Booth Willie: Why you fuckin’pricks.
I fuckin’hear every fuckin'
word yer saying!
When this fuckin’leg heals, I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin'
assholes!