| Hanging with my sweet amour
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| She came out with a lion’s roar
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| Yelling, «I'm going to the corner store,
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| Be back at quarter to four»
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| «Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer»
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| She can be like a maiden from the days of yore
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| Hanging out at Studio 54
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| Break dancing on the slick brick disco floor
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| With Lionel Richie
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| Who, by the way, was a Commodore
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| One time she gave mouth-to-mouth to a snaggle tooth boar
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| Who couldn’t breat right since the Vietnam War
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| Then she played Chinese Checkers with Skeletor
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| And went camping with Eva Gabor
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| And she’s coming home
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| I got a picture of her down by the seashore
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| Wearing a bikini made of purple velour
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| Her hair’s up like Conway Twitty’s pompadour
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| With the smile of Guy LeFleur
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| She got the ups and downs like an elevator
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| But deep inside she’s a marshmellow smore
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| Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor
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| Either or, Neithor nor
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| She’ll share it with your Labrador
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| She can run faster than a blazing meteor
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| Loves Winnie the Pooh and his friend Eeyore
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| Can make a pipe out of an apple core
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| That’s a trick she learned from Roberto Parrish
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| Down in Ecuador
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| You know why?
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| And she’s coming home
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| Well, for sure she opened the door
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| Whipped out a 3-ft fishing lure
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| Sexually, that made me insecure
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| Like the time I was a roadie
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| On Elton John’s tour
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| She said, «Let's go catch some Piscatore!»
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| I said, «Beatrice, you don’t eat fish no more.»
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| She said, «By God, you’re right!»
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| So we took ourselves a snore
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| And when we woke up 10 hours later
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| We made Love Du Jour
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| She’s my sweet Beatrice
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| And she came home
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| She likes to clean out the attic every now and then
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| She’s gonna knit me a brand new golfing bag
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| We gonna watch ourselves a John Wayne movie
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| Then we gonna free all the doggies at the kennel
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| She gonna try on my third grade mittens
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| She’ll keep 'em on even though they’re way too small
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| Well, she ain’t never gonna hurt me She ain’t never gonna let me down
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| She ain’t never gonna tell nobody
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| I’m afraid of birds and spiders
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| Well, Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| Bea-bea-bea-beatrice
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| And she loves Pat Summerall |