| I’m sitting in my chair watching the TV
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| It’s not even on but there’s plenty for me to see
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| I just lit some crazy ass shit
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| that my friend overnight mailed to me
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| I’m fucking wasted
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| It’s the best shit I ever tasted
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| I think they fucking laced it Cause I’m so damn lambasted
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| Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
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| I told him he better go easy with this shit but he didn’t believe the hype
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| He sparked three bows just to show he could take it Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked
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| He’s fucking wasted
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| It’s the best shit he ever tasted
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| He’s lost in fucking spaced-ed
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| Cause he’s so wicked wicked wasted
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| Oh I spent the last two hours
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| hiding under my bed
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| Cause I looked in the garbage can
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| and I think I saw my Uncle Louie’s head
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| I’m fucking wasted
|
| Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird’s face
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| The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
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| He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
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| He looked at the two of us and he started to speak
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| I’m fucking wasted
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| It’s the best shit I’ve ever tasted
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| My brain’s been erased-ed
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| Well fucking fried
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| I’m sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
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| I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
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| Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
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| I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell’s up with you
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| I’m fucking wasted
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| It’s the best shit I ever fucking tasted
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| Oh fucking shit
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| I’m way too baked |