| For Fun and Diversion we have met together,
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| I tell you from Waterford hither we came,
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| We crossed the Big Ocean in dark stormy weather,
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| Our pockets were light and our Hearts were the same,
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| Sad at leaving Old Ireland we’re once more on dry land,
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| By the roadside a tavern I chanced for to spy,
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| And as I was melting my pockets I felt in,
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| For the price of a drink I was mortally dry.
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| For we are the boys of such Fun and such Eloquence,
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| Drinking and Dancing and all other Joys,
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| For Ructions Destructions Diversions an Devilment,
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| Who’s to compare with The Waterford Boys.
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| In the tavern I rolled in the landlord he strolled,
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| And good morrow says he and says I if you please,
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| Will you give me a bed and then bring me some bread,
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| And a bottle of porter and a small piece of cheese,
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| My bread and cheese ended I then condescended,
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| To take my repose sure I bade them good-night,
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| When under the clothes I was trying to doze,
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| First I stuck in my toes and then popped out the light.
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| Well I wasn’t long sleeping when I heard something creeping,
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| And gnawing and chawing around the bed post,
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| My breath I suspended but the noise never ended,
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| Thinks I you have damnable claws for a ghost,
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| Now to make myself easy for I felt rather lazy,
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| Well over my head I again pulled the clothes,
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| When «Moses what’s that, sure a great big jack-rat,
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| With one leap from the floor jumped right up to my nose.»
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| Well I reached for a hobnail and made him a bobtail,
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| And wrestled with rats to the clear light of day.
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| When the landlord came in and he said with a grin,
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| For your supper and bed you’ve five shillings to pay,
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| «Five shillings for what, now don’t be disgracing yourself,
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| Says I to the rogue if you please,
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| When I can’t sleep with these rats you’ve the devil’s own face on you,
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| To charge me five shillings for dry bread and cheese. |
| «Oh the landlord went raring and lifting and tearing,
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| He jumped through the window and he kicked in the door,
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| When he could go no further he roared, «meela murder.
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| These rats they are eating me up by the store,
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| Sure they sleep in my stable they eat from my table,
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| They’ve wrestled my dogs and they’ve killed all my cats,»
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| «Truth then,"says I, «just give me those five shillings,
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| And I’ll tell you a way to get rid of the rats.»
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| «I will then,"said he, «we'll invite them to supper,
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| And dry bread and cheese lay before them for sure,
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| Never mind if they’re willing, but charge them five shilling,
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| And devil the rat will you ever see more. |