| Plush pig, plush plush piggy
|
| Plush piggy-pig, plush plush piggy-piggy
|
| Quiet. |
| Listen. |
| Hush. |
| Dig
|
| Shush…
|
| Plush pig
|
| As a kid I had a plush pigger
|
| I was little then, now I’m much bigger
|
| I’m a grown-up. |
| Not a mere boy
|
| And guys, my pig was a really weird toy
|
| This is ludicrous
|
| But that plush pig had a uterus!
|
| Her stomach had a zipper
|
| And you could unzip it
|
| And pull out three little piglets
|
| Their mouths were metal snap fasteners
|
| And the mother had snaps attached to her
|
| And the little pigs had to nurse
|
| So you could take a piglet triplet
|
| And clip it to a niplet
|
| And yeah sure thing
|
| It taught me about birthing and nursing
|
| But it’s disturbing in hindsight
|
| 'Cause you get how you played with the swine, right?
|
| You went first
|
| Unzip the mama
|
| Open the womb up wide
|
| And then
|
| Pull out the first piggy
|
| Wave it from side to side to side
|
| And then
|
| It’s the second and third piggy
|
| You pull them out to the beat
|
| And now that you’ve delivered the litter
|
| You gotta snap 'em on the teats!
|
| You go snap!
|
| Attach the first piggy |
| Snap snap!
|
| And then the next piggy
|
| Snap snap snap!
|
| And then the third piggy!
|
| Now get busy!
|
| Do the plush piggy! |
| You go
|
| Shake piggy piggy piggy
|
| Shake piggy piggy
|
| Shake piggy piggy piggy
|
| Shake piggy piggy
|
| Just get jiggy
|
| It’s not tricky
|
| Everybody’s ready to do the plush piggy!
|
| Oh!
|
| Plush pig, plush plush piggy
|
| Plush piggy-pig, plush plush piggy-piggy
|
| Quiet. |
| Listen. |
| Hush. |
| Dig
|
| Shush… *oink*
|
| Plush pig
|
| Now maybe you’re saying to yourself
|
| «Zach, it seems highly unlikely that
|
| Any parent would provide their child
|
| With such a bizarre plaything.»
|
| Well if you’re thinking
|
| «Wait, no. |
| Surely you jest
|
| Man, you made that story up
|
| This is purely BS.»
|
| Well, I had my mom dig into my closet
|
| And yes
|
| She found that pig and sent it to me USPS!
|
| So, first, unzip the mama
|
| Open the womb up wide
|
| And then
|
| Pull out the first piggy
|
| Wave it from side to side to side
|
| And then
|
| It’s the second and third piggy
|
| You pull them out to the beat
|
| And now that you’ve delivered the litter
|
| You gotta snap 'em on the teats!
|
| You go snap! |
| Attach the first piggy
|
| Snap snap!
|
| And then the next piggy
|
| Snap snap snap!
|
| And then the third piggy!
|
| Now get busy!
|
| Do the plush piggy! |
| You go
|
| Shake piggy piggy piggy
|
| Shake piggy piggy!
|
| Shake piggy piggy piggy
|
| Shake piggy piggy!
|
| Just get jiggy
|
| Do the plush piggy!
|
| Clip a little piggy to a metal pig titty! |