| I’m at the club scene where I met Miss Green Eyes
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| She said, «I can tell by the size of your schnoz
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| That you’re Zach Sherwin, and I’m totally TWI!»
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| I said, «Oh, you’re a Nas fan also? |
| That’s great!
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| We have so much in common!
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| We’re clearly soulmates who were fated to date!»
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| She said «Hold up and wait
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| I’m flattered -- you’re coming in too fast and hot though
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| You need to be more legato gelato.»
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| I said, «What? |
| Legato gelato?
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| That’s a slang term whose meaning I do not know!
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| But I’m intrigued by the sound of it…»
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| She said «Well let me break it down a bit
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| You might know the word 'legato' if you’ve ever studied music before
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| If you see it written down on a musical score
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| Then the composer is directing you
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| To play or sing all the notes smoothly and connected to the others
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| With no breaks in between
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| Now let me demonstrate a little bit and you can see what I mean.»
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| She sang, «Laaa, laaa, laaa: that’s legato
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| Not, la-la-la; |
| that’s staccato
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| The opposite of what legato is
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| And don’t tell me that you don’t know what gelato is!» |
| I said, «Yes, I sure do, it’s a dessert
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| That you gotta keep ice cold in the freezer
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| And now I’m no longer dazed and confused
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| Now I think I understand the phrase that you used
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| Does it mean 'keep it chill?'» She said «Yep.»
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| I said «Thought so. |
| Smooth and cool! |
| Legato gelato!»
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| Once again, it’s legato gelato!
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| Smooth like legato, cool like gelato!
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| It’s my new catchphrase, it’s my new buzzword, it’s my new motto:
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| Legato gelato
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| And check this out: take the word «legato.»
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| Now take the «l» and the «g» and switch the two spots
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| And look what you’ve got. |
| Whoa!
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| «Legato» TURNS INTO «gelato!»
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| I said «Ok, I’m taking things slow and I get the lingo
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| Can I give you a ring?»
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| «No,» she said, «I don’t think so
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| You came on too strong, I felt smothered and
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| I need a loverman
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| Who won’t let me have the upper hand.»
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| I said, «Nah, miss, you got it wrong
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| You’re a character I made up for my 'Legato Gelato' song
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| You don’t exist if I don’t imagine you
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| How 'bout that for high status, boo?»
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| She said, «Damn! |
| Now THAT was legato gelato! |
| Way to step it up with that macho bravado!
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| Take me home now, you wild stallion
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| But first do a victory lap rap as a finale, hon.»
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| I said, «Okay, I’m smooth and glossy
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| And frosty as autumn in Oslo
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| When the temperature drops as low
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| As the cost of shopping at Costco
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| Fluid and easy and keeping it cool
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| Like I’m eating a soup of gazpacho
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| 'Cause I do it legato with a scoop of gelato.» |