| Tony, Tony, Tony
 | 
| Only had a couple!
 | 
| But he’s had a fair few shots
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| And he starts to swear a lot
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| But she hasn’t bared a drop
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| And thus everyone stares too much
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| Cor blimey, see that bird take a good look at her skirt
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| Oh me word, I can see heaven take me far from Earth
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| I’ll have some of that love, how much are you worth?
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| No I’m not being tricky love, this glass is me first
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| Now how about a score, OK then 25
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| Why did you slap me for, I was trying’a be kind
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| Go get your boyfriend then, I ain’t gonna run
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| So what if he’s a boxer, I’m already numb
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| Now out of the way, its me turn «same again son»
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| What did you say cunt, I’ll tell you when I’m done
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| I’m drunk, you’re flippin drunk, in fact you’re raw some
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| Come on then, lets have it then, now where the hells me gun?
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| Oh you all think it’s a joke, well lets just see
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| When I count to three, you will all respect me
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| Dead bag I Tony, everyone knows me
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| What’s wrong now sweetheart, are we getting cold feet?
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| Mike: Excuse me, can I have a word outside if you please
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| Tony: What if I refuse, what are you gonna do geez?
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| Mike: Oi, lets cut to the chase, did you disrespect me Stace?
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| Tony: Oh you mean that slag, she’s a bloody disgrace
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| I offered her 25, and she slapped me in me face
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| I mean, would you believe it Ted? | 
| Right in me face!
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| She’s lucky she didn’t get put right in her place
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| That’s it, I’ve had enough, outside, come on lets go now!
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| Teddy: Listen bruv, that’s enough
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| I’ll put it blunt, you’re looking like a cunt
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| Breathe in, breathe out
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| Or you’ll end up in the back of the meatvan
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| Like you always do when you have a glass of gin and juice
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| Causing trouble in the venue
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| What you trying to make the 10 o’clock news?
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| No, no, don’t talk, your ignorance will be a downfall
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| What you gotta shout loud for
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| Embarrassing yourself when you’re outdoors
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| Talking like you got big balls
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| Gritting your teeth like a pitbull
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| Looking like you’re gonna be sick
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| Dude check yourself mate, you’re a Mitchell
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| Please excuse my brother
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| He’s got too much booze in his bladder
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| Giving you all the chitter-chatter
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| Getting all rude in a geezer manner
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| Please accept my apologies on his behalf
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| And I don’t think that he really meant to squeeze your arse
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| But he was being an idiot
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| That I can’t deny, I must admit
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| That he was out of line, and he pushed it just a little bit
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| But what about you though, showing off flesh like a sumo
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| Your skirts up too high, and your top’s cut too low
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| And there’s your boyfriend, acting like a boss kinda like Hugo
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| Put yourself in my brother’s shoes mate
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| What if it was you bro?
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| Lets just all get along
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| Do a little dance to some songs
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| Forget about this nonsense
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| We can all move on!
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| Tony, Tony, Tony
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| Only had a couple! |