| Do you teddy mitchell wish to take her as your lawfully wedded wife happily
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| ever after?
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| No i dont but i can tell you what i do, i never ever ever ever everevereverever
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| plan to say «i do»
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| Good evening ladies and gentlemen
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| Im so so impressed by the turnout tonight
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| And have to compliment everyone on the choice of my attire
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| Which i must say is spelndid
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| It’s only right i do my duty as best man
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| I mean bestest man
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| Cause im the best best man you can get
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| See i’ve known the groom since the grandeur days
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| When we used to sneak in and watch our dad’s pornos together
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| So i can also say i known him as my girlfriends nipples
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| And have to be as real as possible with him
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| Mate now you’ve said «i do» you’re done!
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| So said goodbye to a world of coming home when you want and going out when you
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| want forever
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| See i’ve stayed ready with my answer if the vicar was to ever ask me
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| Do you teddy mitchell wish to take her as your lawfully wedded wife happily
|
| ever after?
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| No i dont but i can tell you what i do, i never ever ever ever everevereverever
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| plan to say «i do»
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| Secondly i’d like to thank the groom
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| For the toast proposed to the bridesmaids
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| Whom im definitely gonna deflower by the end of the night
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| At least two of them anyways
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| Marriage to me is nothing but a civil contract
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| And i also see it as an institution
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| And who the fuck wants to live in an institution hein?
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| I mean is kinda like school
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| Once that bell rings yous got to go back in
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| So once them wedding bells ring
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| You’re in for the turning
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| I mustn’t say i dont believe in relations
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| But in most cases marriages or relationships end up sinking
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| It’s a chick’s business to get married as soon as possible
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| And a bruv’s business to keep unmarried as long as possible
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| So im always gonna stay ready of my answer
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| If the vicar was to ever ask me |