| Raise your glass
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| We have incorporated
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| Place your bets
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| We’re all so sick of waiting
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| Queen takes jack
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| You got me this time but i’ll get you back
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| So pick a number
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| To all the ones who tried the most was I supposed to cheer your efforts
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| Sorry that I chose so poorly
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| Golly gee am I the poster girl
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| She’s the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
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| The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
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| She’s the kind of girl who only asks you over when it’s raining
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| Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling
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| Lift your hats
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| Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
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| They’d make an angels skin crawl
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| If you ask them for assistance
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| There’s an even chance
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| You’ll get a number
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| To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
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| I’ve a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient
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| To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
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| You really had me
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| Going for a second I was nervous
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| Boy am I the poster girl
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| She’s the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
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| The kind who tell you she’s bipolar just to make you trust her
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| She’s the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
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| Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her
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| To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
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| Who was mine in '99 I want last names and current status
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| To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
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| I was nervous boy am I the poster girl
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| For some suburban sickness
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| Better keep a healthy distance
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| Now it’s up to you know what to do
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| It’s pretty dirty business |