| This is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
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| A little change in character, pretending to be drunk
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| You think I am weak and feeble, you think I’m a bore
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| When you drag me to a party, soon I’m out the door
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| Next time I’ll portray a suave sophisticated hunk
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| That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
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| That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
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| A bit of «I have lived and loved,"I'm pretending to be drunk
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| You say I could use some swagger, you say toughen up I am rigid as a board, you tell me loosen up
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| I’m so loose and I’m so tough that I can barely move
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| That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
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| You notice a transformation, pretending to be drunk
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| I’ve lost all my inhibitions, pretending to be drunk
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| You can take me to the soiree and be proud of me Everyone will be impressed, I’ll pass out on your knee
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| Now I am so continental, they think that it’s nice
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| Think I’ll pretend to be drunk for the rest of my life
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| That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk |