| The lawns grow plush in the hinterlands
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| The perfect little setting for the one night stands
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| The drapes are drawn and the lights are out
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| It’s the time to put in practice what you’ve dreamed about
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| Well she can show you what you must do
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| To be more like people better than you
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| And amateur hour goes on and on
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| And when you turn pro you know
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| She’ll let you know
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| And amateur hour goes on and on
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| And when you turn pro
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| You know she tells you so
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| Girls grow tops to go topless in
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| While we sit and count the hairs that blossom from our chins
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| Our voices change at a rapid pace
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| I could start a song a tenor and then end as bass
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| So choose your partners everyone
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| If you hesitate the good ones are gone
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| Amateur hour goes on and on
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| Dance, laugh, wine
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| Dine and talk and sing
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| But those cannot replace what is the real thing
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| It’s a lot like playing the violin
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| You cannot start off and be Yehudi Menuhin
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| So amateur hour goes on and on |