| Don’t tell me
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| Don’t tempt me
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| I’ll drink 'till the bottles' empty
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| I’m not in denial, so don’t put my life on trial
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| I never asked for your opinion
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| I never asked for your advice
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| You think I’m unable
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| To set my drink down on the table
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| I hoard it, I guard it
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| But dammit I’m the one who bought it
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| So I don’t wanna hear your sermon
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| You’re only preaching to the choir
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| Nobody’s paying you to think
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| So shut up and pour me a drink
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| Stop pointing your finger
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| I never said I was a social drinker
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| Don’t tell me, Don’t tempt me
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| Don’t break it to me gently
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| If you don’t ask me stupid questions
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| I’ll never tell you stupid lies
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| Nobody’s telling you to think
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| So shut up and pour me a drink
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| I’m not some red-nosed cartoon
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| Thrown out of every barroom
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| It’s not some nasty habit
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| So don’t lock your liquor cabinet
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| If I start missing work
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| And acting like a total jerk
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| Then you can say anything you want
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| Your party’s distended
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| But I’ll be the last one standing
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| I’ll win by attrition
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| Praise the lord and pass the ammunition
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| You think I’ve got a drinking problem?
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| I think I do it pretty well!
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| And anyway…
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| Nobody’s paying you to think
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| So shut up and pour me a drink
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| Just shut up and pour me a drink
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| Nobody’s paying you to think
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| So just shut up and pour me a drink
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| Ohhhh Just shut up and pour me a drink |