Song information On this page you can find the lyrics of the song Tinder Samurai, artist - Samsa. Date of issue: 06.08.2017
Age restrictions: 18+
Song language: English
Tinder Samurai |
| I like to think I’m well-equipped as any other average guy |
| But I just can’t discover love and I don’t even set my standards high |
| On top of that, I’m camera shy, maybe I should opt-out of the dating pool |
| And be an undercover tinder samurai |
| Cause I would rather type online than whisper in a dingy bar |
| And swiping left and right could be my new bushido ninja star |
| I’m well-versed in virtual lovemaking ninjutsu |
| On every profile pic I post, I’m posing with my shitzu |
| Or flexing with my shirt off cause I heard that gets you hits too |
| Especially OkCupid, I’m like Eros or the cherubs be |
| I pierce hearts of women with my cursor and my arrow keys |
| And disregard my Roman roots and choose a font that’s serif-free |
| Trust me |
| I’m a tinder bio brainiac |
| The way I kindle fire with matches, I’m a pyromaniac |
| On christian mingle, I’m a casanova |
| If ya’ll don’t think so, y’all can ask Jehovah |
| Check your inbox, he might send an answer over |
| I wish I had the muscles of a granite sculpture |
| I would log on ashleymadison and bang adulterers |
| I’m so lonely, I’ve considered farmers-only |
| Just for someone’s arms to hold me |
| Also, I’m really big on agriculture |
| But if I had that body of a grecian God |
| I would trawl on pof.com and use it as a fishing rod |
| And hope I don’t get catfish |
| The fact is if I did, I’d probably play along cause God knows I could use the |
| practice |
| And if I’m aching for my roots, I’d visit shaadi.com |
| Message islamic wahhabi hijabi hotties «salaam» |
| And sunni, shia, those are both denominations I respect |
| Cause I just care for our connection |
| I don’t care about the sects |
| Sometimes I uninstall my apps in reckless insurrectious rage |
| Then regret it while I check the craiglist missed connections page |
| Then I think that I should get out more and disregard my mobile cell |
| Get to know the local teller at my barnes and noble well |
| And check out what she’s reading while she’s charging up my total sale |
| And ask her if she likes the novel |
| And once she answers, ask her if wants to grab some coffee or some ice cream |
| waffles |
| She’d probably say that’s awesome |
| I’d ask her when she’s off of work |
| She might answer «midnight» |
| I’d tell her that sounds awful |
| What a bummer, and from somewhere |
| I might muster up the nerve to get her number |
| And I would ask her what her digits are |
| And if I play it right then I can disregard my ninja stars |
| Say sayonara to katanas and my other weapons too |
| And try committing by committing online dating seppuku |