| Malachi Crunch
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| I Hate The Itching
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| Acid Batman
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| Hollywood! |
| And the cast of characters… Adam West was there, with
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| his prickly fat ass wedged into grey tights, with his bouncy paunch
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| hung over his yellowplastic yellow utitility belt. |
| And Burt Ward, who
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| had to have his genitalia taped down with duct tape to hide his frequent
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| erections. |
| It was widely known in Hollywood that the dynamic duo
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| were the two biggest cokeheads in town. |
| In fact, during the entire third
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| season of filming, the two were always high as a kite. |
| They were to
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| have a great many hallucinations. |
| On this date, they decided to have a
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| little party on the set. |
| They were going to ingest a little LSD, and I
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| ain’t talking about the least significant digit, either. |
| Let me tell
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| you
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| who was there. |
| DeForrest Kelly and John Davidson stopped by. |
| Oh,
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| Fess Parker was there. |
| Dennis Weaver. |
| Marlo Thomas. |
| Robert Clary
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| a.k.a. Colonel Louis LeBeau. |
| And Otto Preminger, who had played
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| Mr. Freeze on that night’s episode of Batman. |
| Well they were all
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| trippin and tootin in that mobile home that they affectionately
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| called the Bat-Hole, when, who should wander in but little Jimmy
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| McCullough, the young son of one of the stagehands. |
| I believe he was
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| the gaffer. |
| Adam West shrieked A young pig! |
| Ready to be roasted!
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| John Davidson stuffed an apple in his mouth and Marlo stuffed him in
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| the oven. |
| In their acid state, they cooked him and they ate him.
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| Well, the reason you’ve not heard about this story is simple. |
| Bill
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| Dozier,
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| the show’s sleazeball producer, had extensive connections with the mob.
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| He had the entire McCullough family rubbed out, all the way from dad
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| to dear old grandma in the nursing home. |
| Dead men don’t talk, you know? |