Lyrics Tabloid News - Ray Stevens

Tabloid News

Well don’t talk to me about the Wall Street Journal
News Week, Business Week or Time
I read The National Super Market Checkout Examiner
And I get it in a super market checkout line
Read all about it: do it yourself root canals
Not as simple as it may sound
Get all the facts before you start your **GRIND**, YEEOOOWW!
Arkansas woman gives birth to bride, groom and entire wedding party
«Aheh, Lordy, Lordy.
I just hope there’s enough weddin cake to go round, ahhooo.
The National Super Market Checkout Examiner
Minds that need examining want to know
Now you can keep your shows like 60 min (60 min)
20/20 and all others of that kind
Just give me The National Super Market Checkout Examiner
It’s the only one that lays it on the line
Alabama woman beamed aboard spacecraft
Gives birth to alien life form
«He's a cute little bugger.
Named him Zoltar
I just wished he’d stay away from that nuclear power plant down the road there
tho
They claim he a suckin off about 2 million megarwatz a day
I told em, he’s just a groin' boy.»
Just give me The National Super Market Checkout Examiner
It’s the only one that lays it on the line
Amazing rooster grows side burns
Plays guitar and clucks Don’t Be Cruel.
Hen house in an uproar
«Yeah these hens is just mesmerized.
Don’t hardly lay at all no more
Spendin all their time just listenin' to that ole rooster sing
I mean they’re swoonin all over the place
Yeahhh, they fight for them little silk scarfs he throws every song or two
He he, heck I ain’t complainin tho, he just give me the keys to his new
Cadillac.»
So don’t talk to me about the Wall Street Journal
News Week, Business Week or Time
Give me The National Super Market Checkout Examiner
And I buy it in a super market checkout line