| If you had a machine that can make you into anything you wanted to be
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| Like anything, what would you be, hmm, let’s see
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| I wanna be the queen, no, I wanna be nineteen
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| Wait, no, I wanna be that horrible thing I saw last night in my dream
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| I know, I wanna be a supermodel, she’s European
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| A lean sex fiend, oh thank God I can finally fit in those dumb jeans
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| Poof, then it was me, I was her
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| I waited for something fabulous to occur, something marvellous and absurd
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| I waited, there was nothing, but I was something
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| Gorgeous, crazy, wealth, and I could always reach the top of the supermarket
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| shelf
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| All of a sudden I was no longer the model or myself
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| I must have thought about being the stupid box of cereal up on that stupid shelf
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| Boring, wondered whether I would wait forever
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| I guess I was a brand that wasn’t adequately advertised on TV ever
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| But it got better, apparently a parent and a child threw me in a cart
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| It was hard I was smothered covered by a world of pop tarts
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| And a part of the newspaper that scared me, I think it was the pop charts
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| And I wish I was a cereal that, that wasn’t so smart
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| Do you wanna step inside my machine
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| We all got home and they put me right in the fridge
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| Damn why don’t they keep their cereal out so I could at least see where they
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| lived
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| But I could hear them and it seemed like they were happy
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| When the kid wasn’t napping she was always laughing, I felt jumpy,
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| my bran was crackling
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| I was grabbed along with the milk and put in a bowl
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| It was dark, a black hole, must have been the kid’s mouth, I don’t know
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| And in I went down the throat, passed the tongue, by her heart, by her lungs
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| And I could see that she might be dying young
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| So I tried to patch it up with an old piece of gum that was there
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| But the damage was done, disease had won, it wasn’t fair
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| But I wasn’t gonna be the one that lost her
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| I wasn’t a doctor and I wasn’t a name on the list of somebody’s roster
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| Why bother, and by that time I was already at the other end
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| In the toilet with milk, you know, my old friend from the fridge from way back
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| when
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| And then we got sucked down into the pipes
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| What a crappy life, machine that’s really not right
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| Do you wanna step inside my machine
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| I can’t stand it, I said machine why are we here
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| And it paused and said 'to play video games and drink beer'
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| That’s weird, you’re subversive, I thought we had a deeper purpose
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| Underneath the surface, why do so many of us feel worthless
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| The machine said don’t ask me, ask your magazines
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| People in Teen and loads of shit people don’t need
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| I started to bleed and said just make me into a bandaid
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| The size of a giant pancake, wrap me round the whole world to heal the heartache
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| And if anyone’s hungry, well they could just eat me
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| Or I’ll be a peace treaty and no one could ever defeat me
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| It said chill out girl, you remember being up on the shelf
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| I seem to remember you kinda just wanted to be yourself
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| No, I wanted someone to pick me, to love me
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| To be the greatest brand, I don’t understand, I was just tryna comprehend man
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| Oh you wanted the grand scheme, the big plan, the answer
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| Well here it is, ah
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| And then it turned off, and that was it
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| Because you see, the machine never really did exist
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| Would you wanna step the machine
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| Would you be a doctor, would you be a rocker
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| Would you be a parka keeping someone warm in a lock-up
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| Would you be a marker that signed the constitution
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| Would you start a revolution or just play some pro-soccer
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| How about a stalker, if you were a father
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| Would you be good at all or would you even bother
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| Be a beautiful girl or someone that could call her
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| Would you be a good talker, a stealth bomber
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| What about Osama, just to see what it feels like
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| Cause we all love to live in drama
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| Be a big movie star, fancy ass houses and a big car
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| Doing lots of drugs, fucking up and break laws
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| Be a fat man, plumber’s butt hangin' out the drawers
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| Would you fight for a cause, chew on people like Jaws
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| Instigate wars, push the button would you be somethin'
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| Or middle-class average with an okay marriage
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| One-point-three baby carriage and a two-car-garage
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| Would you be president, would you be American
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| Would you be better than everyone else as a representative
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| Would you be a monkey, would you be lucky
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| Would you be a big giant dick always fucking
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| Would you be a pumpkin
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| Would it be your brain inside a vegetable or would you feel nothing
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| Would you manage or would you suffer
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| Would you be a lover, be a fighter
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| Or would you just be alright, could you just be alright
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| Could you just be alright, could you just be alright
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| And if all this could come true
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| Would you be ready, well I’d be ready if I was you |