| Hello, all you boys and girls
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| I’d like to take you to the inside world
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| It’s quite an irregular place to be
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| But never fear, you’re safe with me
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| Well, maybe
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| Golden hair of macramé
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| Against the face that’s cut from stone
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| The white porcelain’s screaming, «Ayie!»
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| Thank God the boy’s not alone
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| I don’t believe in Santa Claus
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| I don’t believe in spite
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| I have no use for beauty dolls
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| Especially on this night
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| I don’t believe in miracles
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| I don’t believe in lies
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| I don’t believe in holograms
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| For I am the Frizzle Fry
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| Andy’s painting green again
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| This time they might take him away
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| When Barrington starts to breathe again
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| It may just take us all away
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| I don’t believe in charity
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| I don’t believe in sin
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| And if you don’t believe in me
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| We’ll play this tune over again
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| I don’t believe in pinochle
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| And I don’t believe I’ll try
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| I do believe in Cap’n Crunch
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| For I am the Frizzle Fry |