| The road to the top, through cross guards and hard knocks
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| Copper penny Johns and endless city blocks
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| Thieves straight as an arrow and crooked rent-a-cops
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| Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots
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| Three ring circus acts and worthless facts
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| Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of Diggum' Smacks
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| Fist-fucking faggots at the Y on gym mats
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| Rats run the wire while I’m looking for a match
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| I go back and forth just like a Cameo song
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| Honeys wanna love me but the line is long
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| So I make 'em take a number
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| Wake 'em from their slumber
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| What you know about Mickey?
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| (He's a bad motherfucker)
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| Truckers get my digits off the stalls at rest stops
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| I’m sick on the microphone like smallpox
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| Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock
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| Blind old ladies into diabetic shock
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| It’s all the same when they call my name
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| Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
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| There ain’t no ball and chain, to hold me down
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| I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
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| It’s all the same when they call my name
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| Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
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| There ain’t no ball and chain, to hold me down
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| I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
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| I flow like Niagara, go tell your manager
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| That Mickey Avalon ain’t no motherfuckin' amateur
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| I fly flicks with my dick at your camera
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| I rip the stick out my girl’s Porsche Carrera
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| I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up
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| Storm the front line and then I find a spot for lunch
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| Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes
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| Rocket boosters with my boots run
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| Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats
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| Hoes know better find this brother at
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| I ripped the rubber mats out your lover’s pad
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| And kicked your mother’s ass right in front of your dad
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| Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight
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| Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye
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| The bad guy, walking over landmines, who can’t die but still tries
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| Leave your gods and your politics back at home
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| Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone
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| I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see
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| So when I’m at the bar stay away from me
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| Don’t ask for a smoke or to make some change
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| I don’t care about your kid or your menstrual pains
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| You can call me rude but I like my solitude
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| And we don’t need to chat while we’re playing pool
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| So stay cool mister, I wasn’t lookin' at your sister
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| That snaggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered
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| Now rack the balls while I’m in the stall
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| Pissin' out vodka and marking up the walls
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| I turn off the ringer when my lady calls
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| And don’t point your finger unless you want a brawl
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| I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball
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| Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall |