| When Will Byers disappeared
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| We realized he was gone
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| I was sipping on that bottle
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| In my trailer by the pond
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| Out in Hawkins, Indiana
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| Where we count the fireflies
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| So when a kid goes missing
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| It’s a tragic strange surprise
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| That’s when they call Chief Hopper
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| I’ve been dealing with a lot
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| I’ve been tossing turning late at night
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| With all these angry thoughts
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| I know I’ll never be the same
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| Since cancer took my child
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| I miss her every day
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| Her laughter and her smile
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| We buried her in April
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| Then my wife and I divorced
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| I spent the summer drinking
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| Sleeping, crying on the porch
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| Joyce Byers, I know what it’s like
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| To have to lose a kid
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| Searching for him in the places
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| Where he played and where he hid
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| And I promise I’ll do everything
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| I can bring him home
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| Though we don’t where he’s gone
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| Just know you’re not alone
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| Because I’ve been to hell back
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| In fact, I’m not scared of that much
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| I’ll punch that Demogorgon
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| Then I’ll kick him in the nuts
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| I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts
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| I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up
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| You can’t take a kid like Will
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| Plus Barb has been missing still
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| Let’s face it
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| The Upside Down is nasty
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| Kind of like the Blair Witch
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| Threw a party if you asked me
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| And she invited all her friends
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| Hellboy, Jaws and Alien
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| The guestlist never ends
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| Jason and Mike Meyers
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| You might see them at the coat check
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| Covered with black slime and grime
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| You’ll really find that clothes get
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| A bit ruined so bring a hazmat suit
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| You’d better pack a gas mask
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| 'Cause the air is toxic too
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| Spoiler alert
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| We found Will Byers rottin'
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| Unlike Barb forgotten
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| Blood vessels were clottin'
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| Pulled the snake out his mouth
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| While they played the Moby score
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| Thought we got it all
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| Turns out may be more
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| So now it’s time find that demon
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| And let him know I’m serious
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| I’m feeling kind furious
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| And yes a tab bit curious
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| About who the monster is
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| I know I’m gonna kick his butt
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| Punch him in his starfish face and flick him in the nuts!
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| I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts
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| I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up
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| You can’t take a kid like Will
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| Plus Barb has been missing still
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| Wait! |
| Hold up, chief, why would you do me like that?
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| What’d I ever do to you, dude? |
| Just say it, and I’ll take it back
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| I just want buddies, I am sick of ennui
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| So why’s everybody always picking on me?
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| Like, when you call me Demogorgon, that’s so mean, and you’re the worst
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| I am like you, I am normal, I’ve got feelings, they get hurt
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| When I got popped by Lucas’s wrist rocket, leveled by Eleven’s powers
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| Can’t you see that when I smile I become a flower?
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| Why you wanna make me cry, Hopper?
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| I know you’ll never take me alive, copper
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| Is this the best it gets? |
| Midwest depression fest?
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| Why can’t you guess the guy from Vision Quest is the right monster?
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| As for Barb, I can’t apologize or say enough
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| Sometimes I’m like a lonely puppy, I can play too rough and stuff
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| I’m back home in my right side up in the end
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| I’ll be back next season trying to find another friend
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| I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts
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| I’m going to slap him in the face 'cause that’s what’s up
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| You can’t take a kid like Will
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| Plus Barb has been missing still
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| Seriously, I feel really bad about Barb
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| There’s no excuse for what happened
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| It is entirely on me, and I know this doesn’t make things right, but to
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| Barb’s family and friends I want you to know that I am deeply, deeply sorry |