| Produced by K. Flay
|
| Mixed by Jason Moss
|
| Written by K. Flaherty and A. Nielsen
|
| K.FLAY:
|
| In Indiana I watched a Hoosiers game
|
| Saw Bobby Knight bringing the pain
|
| The next week down in Tennessee
|
| I built a life-sized model of a centipede
|
| Kicking it in Kansas dope red pumps
|
| Jayhawks shaking badonkadonks
|
| In Nebraska, I husked corn all day
|
| Got bitten by a shark Californ-I-A
|
| MC LARS:
|
| Had to let it go in New Mexico
|
| Played a sold out show in Calexico
|
| Had a trailer crash on tour in Minnesota
|
| Got lucky in Kentucky with a chick in my Toyota
|
| Got in my pajamas with a girl from Alabama
|
| Then I lost my laptop in Louisiana
|
| Saw Hannah in Montana, went to New Joisy
|
| Got lost on the turnpike gross and oily
|
| K.FLAY:
|
| I was in Vermont, saw into the future now I’m clairvoyant
|
| Out to infinity and then beyond
|
| Drank a tub of maple syrup, got sick and I called my Mom
|
| Popped a soda up in North Dakota
|
| Then I hitched a ride down to Arizona
|
| Business that’s risky in Mississippi
|
| Oregon filled with duck-billed hippies
|
| MC LARS:
|
| Do I really have to remind ya
|
| About the bets we made in North and South Carolina?
|
| If you can’t ignore the Idaho snow
|
| We’ll move to Georgia where the peaches grow
|
| In Massachusetts met Confucius
|
| Said, «Where's your beverage? |
| Are you juiceless?»
|
| It’s not that I’m insane
|
| I’m just too West Coast for New Hampshire or Maine
|
| 50 states, 64 bars
|
| Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars
|
| Check out the map (yeah we’ve been there)
|
| K.FLAY:
|
| I put the O in Ohio, Venus de Milo
|
| Kidnapped by the circus and they put me in a sideshow
|
| Got lei’d in Hawaii on top of dolphins that’s where I be
|
| Rhode Island popped a Mylanta
|
| In Alaska chillin with Santa
|
| David the gnoming in Wyoming
|
| Pennsylvania’s pregnant and it’s showing
|
| MC LARS:
|
| Not ignoring the warm Florida sun
|
| Chased by a gator to Wisconsin
|
| Made a scary plan down in Maryland
|
| Where Edgar Allan Poe died a sad lonely man
|
| I guess his death wish was big like Texas
|
| You can’t reject this New York guestlist
|
| In Utah I saw the Simpsons movie
|
| At the Delaware mall I paid no duties
|
| K.FLAY:
|
| Michigan acting like a bitch again
|
| In Colorado you’ll need your Michelins
|
| Small gene pools in West VA
|
| Washington state lots of rainy days
|
| Munching on a bowl full of curry in Missouri
|
| Midwest swing and I’m no hurry
|
| Mad love for Illinois got a silent s
|
| And it’s not Reno homeboy it’s Re-yes
|
| MC LARS: Went to Nevada had a bad trip
|
| Moved to Iowa where I owe a grip
|
| Chasing tornados in Oklahoma
|
| Climbing Lincoln’s nose in South Dakota
|
| Friends with benefits in Connecticut
|
| Went to Virginia for some southern etiquette
|
| Hundreds of fans all parked and saw
|
| Me and Bill Clinton jamming in Arkansas
|
| 50 states, 64 bars
|
| Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars
|
| Check out the map (yeah we’ve been there)
|
| MC LARS & K. FLAY:
|
| These are the states that we’ve been to
|
| And all the hi jinks that we got into
|
| At the end of the day all we can say
|
| Is there’s really no place like the USA |